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When Your Child Won’t Eat or Eats Too Much

There is list of other things that are forbidden as well but I can usually incorporate them into other dishes that he will eat. I try to get him those vitamins he is missing out on through kids vitamins, fruit bars etc. For everyone else out there going through this, I feel your pain. Thanks so much for your comment Carmen, and good job being patient and understanding with you son! I am now 19 years old. I am very big on texture issues ex: I have tried fequently to eat healthier and integrate suvh things back into my diet, but nothing has truly stuck.

Have any of you experienced this yourself or your children? Thanks so much for sharing your experience Amy! Do you not like getting dirty or do certain types of clothes bother you? For example, if you were sick and vomiting a lot. Aisha, it is definitely hard to say. I have had depression since I was 7, and developed more mental health issues that could have also led to this.

I know around that time I still ate school lunches, sanwhiches and freezer foods, and even home cooked meals. I really wish I knew! Thanks for the reply Amy. And that is why I never recommend instituting that rule! Wishing you the best. I see your post was written about 2 years ago, I hope the blog still works. I am commenting all the way from Nigeria Africa. My two year old stopped eating abruptly, its my first child so im getting a little worried hence why i turned to google. He was a great eater who ate everything and just as he was turning 2 in april just suddenly stopped.

I read your article but i cant seem to place him under any category seeing as he just stopped eating suddenly. I dont know what to do sometimes i get so frustrated and start crying. I am still here! Second, I would encourage you to keep things consistent by offering regular meals- see my eating basics tab in the menu bar. Give him a highly preferred meal and keep it positive, no stress, no pressure. Let me know how it goes.

Non of these articles helped me figure out what my daughters problem is.. Even doctors give this same advice in this article.. I have worked with many families in similar situations and know how stressful the situation is. I would show her how I chewed, and then swallowed once it was chewed. She seemed to be doing a lot better.


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However, this past week she has slowly declined. Her vocabulary is quite large, and so she does explain herself half decent. When I tell her she ate the good part, she still cries and tells me she ate the bad part. For the last day and half she refuses all food, and says she will only drink chocolate milk. I would appreciate it! It sounds like she may have had a bad experience with food or heard something as you expected.

She is so young so reasoning with her will probably not get you far. I would try to change up the routine by eating out or having a picnic- something fun. Also, keep mealtimes no pressure at all and talk about something else. Tell her it is her choice if she eats which it really is , but you are going to sit down for the meal. Make sure she has some highly preferred foods there as well.

The goal right now is for her to feel no pressure and have positive experiences at meals. Let me know how it goes after a few days. I am at a loss. My 6 year old refuses to eat anything, his favorite foods, snack food, candy anything. This has been going on for a long time. The only way we get him to eat is to sit with him and literally tell him to take a bit, chew, swallow, take another bite, and on.

Physically he is fine we have run just about every medical test to confirm there is nothing wrong which are all normal. We are now giving him an Ensure Plus shake with 2 extra scoops of Ensure powder in it every night before bed just to get calories into him which again we have to tell him take a drink and swallow, and another. We have talked to nutritionist with no help. I am at a complete loss.

I am looking for any suggestions or things to try because I am at a complete and utter loss on what to do. I can imagine how difficult this situation is. Has he always been this way or did it change at some point? Have you ever seen an OT or speech therapist that specializes in feeding? There is no pressure, but I am available for consults, you can find out more in the menu bar. My son now almost 4 was born at 7 months. We followed all the guidelines given by his doc and he gained weight and was on track by 12mnths. I gave him all types of food yes ALL when I fed him.

Then when he started finger foods, he was really good at it, eating even noodles by himself. Ofcourse i still fed him most of the food in between. Things have improved a lot now. He eats a wider range of things. But now, its been a struggle getting him to feed himself. I was not going to make substitute meals and I was not going to feed him. He was awake and crying till dawn!.

This is so hard to see. How long do I keep this on for?

What to do if your toddler refuses food

He can take crunchy food, or semi-liquids like yoghurt, but never mixed together. All his food needs to be separated, Rice, chicken, veggies. Unless I force feed him, he will not take two types together most of the time, but will eat them separately. And it takes aages for him to try a new food. But I have no idea how this sensitivity to textures has anything to do with his willingness to eat. Hello, I totally understand your frustration, but wanted to see if you have read a lot on my site.

I do not advocate just letting them go hungry, ever. There is a TON of info on here. I would ask you to start with the eating basics tab in the menu bar and then click on the links at the end to get started with more advanced strategies. I encourage you to follow a slower approach instead of going cold turkey on the feeding. Read that article and then get back to me if you need more help. Also, make sure you ALWAYS have one food he likes at every meal, serve him the rest of what you are eating as well and try to make this coordinate with the rest of your meal. I came across your article and could not help but wonder if you have some experience and suggestion how to transition from the feeding tube back to eating normally.

Our daughter, who has autism, suddenly stopes eating, presumably due to a GI infection. Although al the test came back negative, doctors still suspected infection, because od the symptoms. She was eating plenty before. Somewhat strict a out the texture of food preferred smoothies and dried fruit and pumpkin seeds — two extreme ends of the solid specter of food However, she suddenly refused to eat and needed an NG tube. She has had the tube now for a few months and we are exploring ways in helping her transition back to eating.

Do you have any suggestions and experience in overcoming this sort of aversion? I have a little bit of experience with this. It is important to give oral feedings with the tube feed so they can begin to make the association that when they have something in their mouth they feel full. Keep it really positive and take your time. He used to only eat peanut butter sandwich for a while, but he now refuses it and will only eat eggo waffles.

He drinks 2 cups of milk a day, loves yogurt.. I keep giving him new foods for him to try but he refuses to open his mouth and runs away. I know how frustrating this. I would recommend starting with the eating basics tab and the articles I recommend at the end. That will get you started. If you want to talk in depth see my consulting services also in the menu bar. My son is 2 years old and these last couple of months he is not eating well.

First he stopped eating lunch, than started skipping breakfast and now dinner too. I could really use some advice. I have a TON of information on this site. See the eating basics and article index tabs in the menu bar for lots of detailed info to get started. I think most of us deal with one picky eater in the family. I used to be one myself. We started him on solids at 5 months of age and he has never taken to it. He moves his head away, put his arms up, swats the spoon away.

A lot of your post sounds familiar. The only thing I know he will eat are rice puffs and sultanas.

Interview Transcript

Can you make any suggestions or perhaps know of someone on this side of the world or some profession that may be able to help us. Hope you can help. Sorry for the long post. You definitely have your hands full and I think some help would go a long way. See the tab in the menu bar for information. Also see the article index, there are a ton of articles on here that will help.

Please let me know if you have other questions! My son has a loss of appetite when on his meds, and it is very frustrating. Thank you for replying and your advice. He has cows milk protein allergy and is ill a lot of the time with variety of things from hand,foot and mouth to croup to severe eczema. I took him to the doctors and they looked at his throat and all is fine that they can see. He wants to eat i can see this because he puts things in his mouth chews a little and instead of swallowing he spits it out.

He is currently surviving on 2x Weetabix and 6oz of aptamil pepti 2 formula twice a day and lots of water. Getting him to take the weetabix is a trick but i feel its got to be done. Hi in in desperate need of some help, my son is 11months old and has eaten well since 6months old when we self weaned him with advice from weaning nurse. Buy carries on with next piece and repeats this over and over which is heartbreaking to watch.

Any help would be great xx. Did he have any vomiting or illness before he stopped eating? Often and event like that can cause an aversion. In the mean time keep meals positive and demonstrate chewing and swallowing as much as possible. Leave your mouth wide open so that he can see what you are doing. Also, give sips of water or milk to help him swallow quickly before he spits food out. I would start off with the eating basics tab in the menu bar. There are articles with really good starting points listed at the end. Picky eating can be quite complicated!

I know this is difficult! I would not do anything too drastic at the moment. Try to keep up with your routine and keep mealtimes as positive as possible. If it continues I would consider getting an evaluation by a feeding therapist or setting up a consult so that his difficulties can be thoroughly explored.

I am So relieved to know I am not the only one going through this. My 4 year old son almost 5 in 2 months has stopped eating like he used to. He has never been a big big eater but he ate enough before always would he was hungry when mealtime was approaching for the past month he started saying he wanted to throw almost all foods that we fed him. I have tried everything to get him to eat and nothing is working….. I am driving myself thinking ….. The doctor said it a stomach bug and he would be fine.

Thanks for having this blog. Hi Alisha, thank you for your reply. Yes my little boy has SPD among other issues hipermobility and low muscle tone I have read your blog about sensory bins and we have started playing with dry foods first.


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  • I will introduce sticky foods at a later stage. But I will try. Thanks again for your reply. You are a great help Alisha. Thank you so much x. My little boy is 2. He is pretty good with fruits though. We have been using an electric brush and having fun blowing bubbles but I wonder for how long do I need to do all this? He will eat a cheese sandwich if I distract him by playing with his car and eating at the same time, is this a good idea? I wish you were based in the uk! Any good books you could recommend.

    Thanks so much x. I think that you are doing some good things to help his eating, but you are right there is probably more that would need to be determined on an individual basis. I would avoid distraction, I know that is tough, but it will hurt more in the long run. Do you suspect that there may be sensory issues? If so get him playing in sensory bins. Also, see the article index in the menu bar and look under picky eating you will find a ton of information there as well.

    I do consults with Europeans all the time- see my menu bar. Trust me, you are not alone. Good luck with your daughter, there are lots of tips here to help! My daughter is 4 and has become a picky eater in the lady year and a half. Why does it have to be an issue? I guess I am also with the little issue right now about my lil girls eating. She used to eat loads and very good, always healty and so on. It all started about two months ago, after she finished her kindergarten.

    She started to eat like a bird even her favourite food, now it is soo hard to feed that she refuses everything. She is picking up all the bad food habits from our family friends kids what is choking, storing food, vomiting, spitting all over the place. We had routine and everything, but since she went to kindergarten it is changed. She is not snacking.

    I tried the way that I let her not to eat till she asks, but she could go without food all day and she would be fine. I am expecting new babes in next five weeks, I just hope I can resolve some part of this problem. Hmm, that is a really unique situation. I would try and talk to her teacher and if she is still eating with these children, I would try to avoid that at all costs. Get back to your basics and routine.

    Also see the eating basics in the menu bar, follow all of these steps. It will take some time and diligence on your part, but you should be able to get her back on track! Hi Alisha, My daughter is nearly 4 yrs. She only eat wheatabix, porridge, toast, rice, pasta, yoghurt and various kinds of meat. Whatever she likes, she does eat it very well. She weighs 18kg and she looks healthy but I know she is not getting a balanced diet especially when she is not eating fruits and veggies.


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    • More on this topic for:?
    • Getting your kid to eat new foods can be really challenging and take some time. I would first recommend reading the Eating Basics tab in the menu bar and then checking out the articles I mention at the end for some more specifics. Then, try to get her to interact with the food in a way that is comfortable for her.

      I explain this in more detail in Exploring New Foods- one of the articles. I came on this page while looking for more options to feed my son who is 2. Well i used to be very anxious 8 months back when i shifted to new apt and there he suddenly stopped eating. Here i want to point out something, My neighbor had a son who was 5 months younger than my boy with really good appetite. Initially my son would go to play at his house and would eat fruits with him. Slowly he developed stomach upset, diarrhea, constipation etc etc over the months. It would kill me seeing him not eating at all and some times eating on alternate days.

      I realized that my neighbor had hygiene problem. Though her son is fine all the time. So correlating such incidents that has happened hundreds of times i stopped feeding my son in front of any outsider. She only eats chicken nuggets from McDonalds or hash browns, noodles, toast, fruits , chocolate milk, apple juice and Pediasure. She also takes vitamins. If we ask her to eat other foids she starts crying. Will she change her eating habits? She will likely add some new foods, eventually, but this could take a while. I would recommend that she see a feeding therapist to help her get out of this, there are likely some underlying issues.

      I have a 9 year old who refuses to eat after having several choking episodes. She has lost about 11 pounds in three weeks. I offer her anything she wants just to get her to eat and she asks for ice cream almost always and holds it in her mouth and refuses to swallow, then spits it out into paper towels or the toilet.

      I been to see if her tonsils need to be removed , I was told they are not really enlarged. First of all feed her whatever you can, as you are in kind of a critical state. I would highly recommend seeing a feeding therapist, where you can be set up with a desensitization program. If you need help looking for a therapist please let me know! My daughter is going through the same thing. She is afraid she is going to choke and refuses to eat. We have been to the doctor, dentist, and we have had many conversations with her.

      Please give me advice. Hi i have a 4 year old son who barely eats. Structure meal time as much as possible and continue to keep it positive. Eat with him and make sure he has one thing at each meal he prefers. Check out eating basics in the menu bar at top for more ideas! One other thing I would add to the list is supertasting. If your child is at the point where they would rather sit at the table all night staring at their green beans than eat them, they may be a supertaster.

      Being a supertaster myself, I can tell you how frustrating it was when my parents would force me to eat foods that literally tasted so bad I wanted to vomit. It was incredibly freeing when I started living on my own and choosing my own foods. Just another thing to consider! We are in a similar situation.

      I wish I would have found a site like this a couple years ago!!! I was reluctant to add this specialist because I always argued that this was simply not bad behavior. This specialist just helped us come up with positive reinforcements, ideas on how to recover after a really bad meal, etc. She actually was a big help to us. Anyhow, thank you for your posts. I will keep reading!!! I should say a nutritionist helped as well to keep the calories on. My daughter is on the smaller side. Hi Alisha, My daughter is 3 years old and she is a terrible fussy eater or rather a non eater I would say.

      She is on just I have consulted many pedestrians but they end up giving me advice or some appetizer. I offered her many different kinds but nothing seems to work out. I left my job for her sake. I have lost the battle. At my home emotions keep flying high at every single meal. I would read my posts transitioning your child to table foods. There are two parts and you can find them in the article index in the menu bar or in the sidebar under popular posts. This goes through some of the basics of teaching the child how to chew. However, there are likely multiple layers to her difficulty eating.

      There is so much info on here, I would start reading under feeding basics also in the menu bar. I would avoid scolding, she has something legitimate going on that makes it difficult for her to eat. You can find info for that in the menu bar also. Please let me know if I can help out in any other way! You have so many good ideas here, but could you please do a post for parents on how to depersonalize the picky eater situation? I have tried everything—preferred foods, sample bites, variations on preferred foods, getting kids to help prepare a meal—and nothing has worked.

      I have a 3-year-old and a 7-year-old. I love to cook, and this is positively sucking all the enjoyment out of it. Hi Alison, I totally hear you and sometimes if your kids are beyond picky eating, those strategies might not be enough. Look at the article index at the top menu. Also, there are several posts about keeping mealtimes positive, expanding variety, and exploring new foods that should be helpful.

      There is no pressure, but I am available for consults where I can give specific advice. Let me know if I can be of more help. Thanks so much for this super informative article! Im wondering if you have any tips if we suspect a mechanical issue. Our 13 month old was a puree eating champ. He would eat any and every veggie or fruit with the exception of banana.

      Loved pouches, even combo flavors. We love food and want him to love food also. Our problem is, he is refusing solids. I dont think its the taste because it isnt even in his mouth long enough. Anything else squash, carrots, sweet potato, peas, corn, pears, peaches, strawberry, banana, blackberry, zuchinni, green beans etc etc gets spit out. He loved any kind of meat for about 2 months and now spits that out too. He got teeth very late first one at 11 months and now has two top and two bottom and we made the mistake of giving only very soft things in tiny cut up bits because we thought he needed teeth to chew i know now this isnt the case.

      Im starting to think he is scared to swallow or doesnt know how to chew things up properly? Other than the hard carrot idea or showing him our own chewing, where do I go from here? Im so discouraged that I keep resorting to mum mums and cookies and cheese but I dont know what to do.

      5 Reasons Kids Refuse to Eat

      If he can chew those things is it just that he doesnt like the soft things? Some things like oranges I can tell he likes the taste of because he will keep it in his mouth and mull it around but ultimately doesnt swallow. I see photos of my friends with similar age children eating normal size bites of strawberry and pancakes and I know he isnt getting enough food at a meal.

      He of course wants to self feed and slaps spoons away but lately is interested in spoons and forks if he can hold them but still spits out what is on them. I know its not that he fills up on crackers and other stuff. After 2 months of refusing solids, we introduced pouches out of desperation for him to eat something and very recently introduced teething crackers and mum mums in the past few weeks when he has lost interest in pouches. Hi Caralea, I can completely understand how frustrating this. First, stick with more crunchy foods, if he is having difficulty chewing he will get more feedback from the chewing.

      You could also try holding a long piece of food like cheese curl and holding one end while you put the other end on his gums in the back- if he will allow you. I would also look into getting an early intervention evaluation, if you are in the states. See the article index for the article titled: I would also make slow changes to foods he is eating, buying different brands and flavors.

      It talks a lot about the importance of play. There is no pressure at all, but I am available for consults. It sounds like there are some underlying issues going on, that I would need to investigate more to give you specific info. I hope this helps a little. Let me know if I can do something else! We have taken her to 2 emergency rooms and they say a behavior issue…I disagree I have an appointment with a GI dr Monday…Monday will be 14 days no food, when we ask her if something hurts she says yes and points to get belly button..

      Yes, very right to follow your instincts. Did they do an endoscopy, colonoscopy, or stomach emptying test in the ER. Right now give her whatever and however to get her to eat or drink anything. I would consider following up with a feeding eval as well. I know, it is terrible!!! See the links I just added in this post, I actually have two post on constipation solutions, it might be helpful. Hi Alisha, Thank you for you article!! Our daughter turned 1 year a few days ago, and she has never ever eaten more than teaspoons if we are lucky… of anything. What ever goes into her mouth just gets pulled straight out.

      Her appetite has definately increased for the past few weeks but she is just demanding more formula bottles instead if actually eating anything. Since birth we have struggled with constipation, that seems to get even worse when she is teething. She is very stubborn by nature but I dont think its a behavoural issue. She seems healthy and happy, but she has not gained any weight for the past 3 months. How do we go about testing for oral aversions or tactile defensiveness?

      Please could you give us some advise.. Oral aversions may develop because of a past event: I would push the constipation issue more with your doc for other solutions. Aim for 1 tablespoon per age of your child for each dish about 2 or 3 dishes. So a 2-year-old child should receive 2 tablespoons each of carrots, rice, and meatloaf. Advertisement 4 of 8 Photo: Oxmoor House Mistake 4: Ignoring Food Preferences Toddlers have many more taste buds than adults we lose them as we age. Something that may not be spicy or salty to you may be too much for your child. The same goes for bitter-tasting foods like spinach and broccoli.

      Also, go light on big flavors when cooking for children. Advertisement 5 of 8 Photo: Oxmoor House Mistake 5: It takes about 20 times of exposing the child to a food for them to accept it. Present the food often and allow the toddler to play with it. This includes touching the food and allowing the child to put it in their mouth and spit it out.

      Over time they will accept it. Advertisement 6 of 8 Photo: The dietitian calculated that Lily was eating only calories a day -- less than a third of what she needed. Adams supervised mealtime more closely, but when she managed to force her daughter to eat more than a few bites of vegetables or bread, Lily would ramp up her activity, racing her bike up and down their street, or sneaking in extra laps after swim practice. Within a year, Lily had grown 3 inches, but had not gained a single pound. She dropped from the 80th percentile to the 40th percentile on the growth chart.

      Previously a muscular little girl, she now had a jutting collarbone, prominent ribs, and a new layer of fine hair on her arms -- lanugo, which the body grows as a way to help regulate its temperature. Barely out of third grade, she was diagnosed as having anorexia. Lily's story is becoming increasingly familiar, as more and more young kids are developing anorexia, government statistics reveal.

      They're limiting their food intake so dramatically that they drop to a weight that's 85 percent or less of what it should be for their height, according to American Academy of Pediatrics' diagnostic criteria. Or, as they get older and more independent, they become bulimic, vomiting or using laxatives after eating an unusually large quantity of food in one sitting. Left unchecked, bulimia may cause serious digestive and dental problems, while anorexia can lead to brittle bones, an abnormally slow heart rate, and, in 10 percent of cases, death.

      In fact, the National Eating Disorders Association NEDA says that eating disorders have the highest fatality rate of any mental illness, including depression. It's estimated that up to 10 million Americans have an eating disorder , according to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, but hard data on the prevalence of these conditions in children are scarce.

      The number of children under 12 who were hospitalized with eating disorders more than doubled between and , the biggest increase for any age group, according to the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality. And the very youngest patients are getting younger: Unfortunately, these cases may be the tip of the iceberg. The number of children dieting or complaining about their body -- considered "gateway" behaviors to anorexia and bulimia -- is rising too, says Lynn Grefe, CEO of NEDA. And parents are at a crossroads: They don't want their children to have eating disorders, but they don't want them to be overweight either.

      With obesity rates climbing, health experts have been pushing for the past decade for more nutrition education in schools and less fat and sugar in kids' foods. They need enough calories and fats to fuel their body, grow their bones, enter puberty , and create neuronal pathways in their developing brain. It's hard to know how big a role the anti-obesity movement has played in the rise of eating disorders in younger kids. The child's distorted self-perception leads to the sensation of feeling fat, even though she might be painfully thin.

      If a child is declining rapidly on the growth chart, even if he was in a too-high percentile before, that's a red flag. It doesn't help that celebrities aren't just thinner than ever, but younger too. This makes them concerned about their body at a much younger age. Though cultural forces may contribute to eating issues, experts now think that these disorders stem from abnormalities in the brain -- and genes may be responsible. A study of twins conducted at Michigan State University found that eating disorders are 59 to 82 percent heritable.

      A child who has a close relative with anorexia is up to ten times more likely to get it herself. More research is needed to find out which genes put a child at high risk. Until then, parents can recognize personality traits in their children that tend to go hand in hand with eating disorders -- most often, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and perfectionism -- and then watch for signs of eating-disorder behaviors, such as restricting certain food groups or obsessing over body size. Today, Maria Adams credits a lot of home cooking and focused family meals for helping her anorexic daughter learn to enjoy food again.

      From the psychologist recommended by Lily's pediatrician, she learned about the Maudsley Method, a treatment approach that top specialists and advocacy organizations including NEDA consider to be especially successful in helping children, particularly those who have at least one parent who's able to be with them all day long. It required Adams, who also has a younger son, to prepare and oversee all of Lily's meals and forbid her daughter to leave the table unless she consumed a set number of calories that had been determined by her pediatrician, who weighed Lily weekly to track her progress.

      The theory behind Maudsley: Malnourishment triggers illogical thinking, leading to more starvation and frenzied exercise ; it's only when a child returns to a normal weight that she'll be able to respond to her natural hunger cues and reflect on her quest for thinness. Says Adams, "My mantra became, 'Food is your medicine.