Good Womaning

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5. Want To Ask Her Out? Make Sure You Follow These Golden Rules;

Amazon Drive Cloud storage from Amazon. A fairly good rule of thumb, then, is to consider your proposed digital approach in an in-person context: If not, think twice about doing it online. Is it okay to ask a woman out by text? Again, think about the context: Steer clear, because that's unlikely to be appropriate. Is it a friend of a friend you met once at a party and got on well with? There's no reason a friendly, well-crafted approach by text couldn't work. In short, don't say or do anything online that you couldn't in good conscience do in real life.

Whether you're asking a woman out physically or through a screen, you're going to need to consider the words that you'll use when you first approach her. In person, it's better to err on the side of a simple greeting rather than an elaborate pick-up line, and you won't usually need to conjure up anything more complex than a simple "hi!

Online openers, however, require slightly more thought: Both on- and offline, there's a sweet spot between an opening that is too blunt and thoughtless, and one that's overwrought, corny or excessively long. Keep things punchy, friendly and polite and you shouldn't go too far wrong. Approaching women can be difficult because you're opening yourself up to rejection, a painful feeling most of us try to avoid at all costs.

But, while none of us are ever going to love the feeling of hearing "no thanks" or "sorry, I'm not interested", having the ability to take rejection on the chin is a crucial attribute for anyone looking to date proactively and successfully. Being cool about rejection not only makes a tense situation easier on everyone, it will also benefit you by improving your odds of successfully landing dates.

Well, the more graciously you're able to handle rejection, the less of a personal toll it will take on you: This realization will give you more confidence to approach a greater number of women, thereby increasing your odds of eventually hearing a "yes". This one's a tip for the flesh-realm: Bear in mind how important your body language is when you're approaching a woman in person.

Nervously shuffling your feet or fidgeting with your hands may not be a deal breaker, but it's certainly not going to endear you to the woman you're approaching or make the interaction feel smooth and natural.

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It can help to be aware of the nervous tics you tend to display and the situations that bring them out so that you can consciously correct them in real time. As much as possible, you want to appear confident, so if need be, take a "fake it 'til you make it" approach. Consider the body language of the woman you've approached, too. If she's being encouraging enough verbally but leaning away from you or crossing her arms defensively, it's possible that she's merely being polite, in which case you may want to cut your losses.

Remember that our bodies tell stories about us, too, so consider what yours is saying about you and the messages you may be receiving from hers. You're looking and smelling good, you're in an appropriate setting, and you've approached a woman confidently with a simple and effective opening line. Good job so far!

You're aiming to turn the interaction into a date, though, so there's still some work to be done yet, and at this point pretty much the deciding factor that will determine whether you're landing a date or not is your conversation skills. Because approaching a woman can sometimes feel like a sales pitch — you're trying to convince her you're worth seeing again, after all — some men veer on the side of dominating the conversation and making it too much about themselves.

Obviously this isn't a particularly attractive approach, so make sure that you are keeping the conversation multi-directional by inviting the woman you've approached to talk about herself, too. Ask questions about why she's at the event where you've both found yourselves or the interests she's outlined in her bio; provide space for her to lead the conversation for a while; and be conscious of keeping the speaking time balanced between you. By this point in the conversation you may be almost ready to put the idea of a date on the table. However, it's important that you're clear, in your own mind at least, about what you're looking to get out it.

12 Golden Rules For Asking Women Out - AskMen

Are you hoping for a casual hookup, and do you have no intentions of getting further involved beyond that point? Are you trying to meet the love of your life and settle down as soon as possible? People have a wide range of dating goals, some of which are incompatible: Of course, at this stage you probably don't know each other very well at all, and it's far too early to put all your hopes and expectations for a relationship on the table — you haven't even been on one date yet, after all!

However, what you can do is pick up signals that the two of you are broadly on the same page, or red flags that indicate that you're miles off, so bear this in mind when you're having that initial conversation. Just as it's ultimately important to make sure that the woman you've approached is looking for the same kind of relationship as you casual, committed, monogamous, etc , it's also important to confirm that you're a good fit for each other more generally.

Even if you're both looking for the same type of relationship, you may not necessarily have compatible communication styles and personalities or the requisite chemistry to make the relationship operate as intended, so this is another thing you're going to need to start gathering information about as early as possible.

Again, you've got a limited window of time and minimal information available to you at this stage, so you'll necessarily be making a snap judgement. Long story short, you have to actually like each other, so confirm as much as possible that she's someone you want to spend more time with before you ask her out.

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Let's say things aren't going as well as you expected. Maybe she's left a sour taste in your mouth by saying something casually bigoted or small-minded, or you're getting the strong impression that she's not really interested in you, or you've realized that you have wildly divergent relationship expectations. It might sound obvious, but the best course of action here is to abort the mission, rather than to press on and ask her out anyway.