Love, Sex and Marriage

Though it has been thousands of years since it was written, and though countless people have made valiant attempts to decipher it, it seems as though we are no closer than ever to reaching a consensus regarding the Song of Solomon. Should it be read literally, as a poem that deals with love and sex? Or is this only a superficial meaning beneath which we will find a whole world of allegorical meaning pointing us to Christ?

Or might it be some combination of the two, where it speaks both literally and allegorically? Christians continue to disagree. Sponsor Show Your Support. You May Also Like.

Sex is the way men connect

He needs sex to ensure that you are happy together and that you are both getting what you need out of the relationship with one another. Sex matters to men in any relationship, and now you can understand exactly why that is—understanding the importance of sex can really ensure that you keep this as a priority to show him that you love him and care about your relationship!

If you want to know how men think about sex in a relationship, then think of it as the one thing that keeps you connected. No matter what else is going on or how far apart you may feel at times, sex is what unites you. It shows him that you make him a priority and that you will always care about how he feels. Yes, it really is that important to him and so when he sees that you are making sex in a relationship a priority , he will stay committed to you and know that you feel the same way about him.

This is why sex is so important to men. Even if you have a fight, you may use sex to reiterate that connection. In his mind, you are showing that you are close to one another when you are physical with one another. This is your connection, this is your bond, and this is how you show that you love each other.

The importance of sex in marriage cannot be undermined if you are looking at creating a lasting bond with your partner and enhance the happiness in your relationship. Sure words are nice, but this very physical act helps him to see that things are good and that you are happy with one another. He needs that reassurance, and he needs to have sex in a relationship to show that you are a well-aligned couple. Sex in a relationship means that this is how you unite, even when everything else is stressful or you have a disagreement.

It helps him to see that everything is really okay and that he can look at you as a partner in the long term. Why sex is important is because most often sex is tied to his ego since that is what motivates him, keeps him going.

It is so important for him to please his woman and if she dismisses bedroom problems constantly, then he may take it very personally. Men do appreciate honesty as well. On the long list of our priorities, sex should not be on the bottom rung. Love for her had grown gradually in Suresh's heart. There was no sudden, impulsive, headlong fall. There had been a calm and steady progression from casual acquaintance to agape-love. His attraction for her was based on her spirituality and her character primarily.

Physical attraction had also played a part - although a minor one - for she was not one who would have won a prize in any beauty-contest. But Suresh considered her beautiful even though others may not have done so. He had tried to form a realistic picture of her, without looking at certain good points only. There was some degree of idealization; that was only to be expected. But reality was looked at squarely without fear or self-deception agape-love, you see, is not blind like romantic infatuation.

Suresh's motives were unselfish. His desire for her was pure. He was considerate and was genuinely concerned for her and sought her welfare before his own. He did not want her for his own personal happiness. His desire was firstly that they might jointly please the Lord and secondly that she might be happy the pathway of blessing is in giving and not in receiving - Acts He was prepared to sacrifice anything of his own for her good. He was dedicated to her and wished to develop the potential that lay within her. He had no desire to exploit her in any way for his own gain.

There was a spontaneity and a naturalness about Suresh even when he was in her presence. There was no artificiality. He was transparently honest and sincere. He did not think about her alone all the time. He often though of how he and later on, they together could help those around who were in spiritual and physical need.

At all times Suresh kept the Lord Jesus supreme in his affections; the girl was only second. The Lord's work also took first priority in his life. He never neglected that, in order to meet her. He wanted her also similarly to put the Lord first in her life. Suresh had complete confidence in her and there was no feeling of insecurity. He never demanded anything nor was he possessive or unreasonable. There was no jealousy or suspicion at all. The greatest proof of his love was that he did not rob her of her freewill.

He gave her the freedom to say "No". When circumstances kept them apart for a long time his love for her did not wane. They had financial difficulties and other problems too. They had to delay their marriage for quite some time because of these factors. Even though he was disappointed for a while because of this, yet he accepted it as from God and as ordered by Him with a good end in view.

Sex, Love & Marriage | cfcindia, Bangalore

He patiently waited and prepared himself for marriage during this waiting time. He counted the cost and made every preparation for their life together. This waiting time also served to assure himself of his deep love for her and also for the fact that God had indeed chosen her for him.

He did not always agree with her on everything. But the unquenchable flame of his love enabled him to accept disagreements on matters that were not of vital importance, for he felt that these enabled them each to express their individuality. In these two examples, we see the sharp contrast between romantic infatuation often mistaken for love and real love in the Biblical sense. Those who are infatuated may manifest only some of the characteristics that Prakash manifested - nevertheless it will still be infatuation.

The case of Suresh is the picture of a perfect lover.

No one may be exactly like him, yet perfection should be our goal. We should never aim at anything less. It is possible for romantic infatuation to develop into true love in course of time, but it cannot be called agape-love until it begins to manifest at least some of the main characteristics of the latter. Young people, in order to avoid being misled, should be able to distinguish between infatuation and love. Infatuation will wear off in a short time. Agape-love will last all through married life and will transform every duty into a delight and every obligation into a joy. We must take to heart the warning repeated thrice in the Song of Solomon Chapters 2: In other words, wait for God's time to love instead of rushing ahead into a wild infatuation.

Above all else, guard your affections. For they influence everything else in your life" Proverbs 4: One wonders whether there is anything more beautiful this side of Heaven, than the sight of a Christian husband and wife, different from each other in so many ways yet blending together to form one harmonious unit. One finds in such couples the true unity in diversity that God intended to be manifested through marriage.

What is the secret of their oneness? On the other hand, look at the thousand of couples who don't understand each other and who lack oneness even after years of married life. Many of these would, given the chance, gladly repent to a single life. Marriage which God ordained for man's happiness has turned out to be misery for them - a veritable hell on earth. They live together under the same roof, but as lonely individuals with nothing in common. They stick together only for the sake of their children, or perhaps because society would frown upon a breakdown of their marriage.

Their life has become a hollow pretence. And yet almost all these couples commenced married life with apparent unity and love. Where did they fail? Obeying the teaching of God's Word in relation to married life can make all the difference between a successful and unhappy marriage. No Christian should even begin to look for his life-partner until his mind had been reoriented to view marriage as God views it. What was God's design and intention in ordaining marriage? Let us turn back to the record of the first marriage and see. It was conducted by God Himself.

This passage really gives an expanded description of what was briefly mentioned in Genesis 1: God made man alone first; and it is significant to note that He who considered everything He created up to the sixth day as "good", note the repetition of "saw that it was good" five times in Genesis 1 , now states that it is "not good" for man to be alone Genesis 2: As Milton said, "Loneliness was the first thing which God's eye named not good".

God then proceeds to make the woman, to be Adam's wife and helper. After this is done, He now looks at His creation and uses the superlative "very good" to describe what He now sees Genesis 1: A married couple made all that difference to God's creation! The primary purpose of marriage is undoubtedly fellowship and companionship, as Genesis 2: Eve was created to be Adam's constant companion.

She was made to be his complement in every way - "a helper fitted to, corresponding to, similar to and suitable for him". God wanted Adam and Eve to live in constant recognition of their need of each other, and together recognize their dependence upon Him. Each of them was to live for the other, and both were to live for God. Eve could not do without Adam's strength and Adam could not do without Eve's tenderness, and neither could do without God.

The truth of this is clearly brought out by the fact that Satan decided to tempt Eve when she was alone and not when she was with Adam. Together, Adam and Eve could have repelled Satan's attack. Alone, each was weak. Together, their strength would have been as the verse quoted above says not just the strength of the one added to that of the other, but greatly multiplied. It is God's desire that every Christian married couple should manifest such spiritual strength.

But such strength can be experienced only when both husband and wife recognize their God-ordained position in relation to each other. Where a married couple do not live as companions and as "joint heirs of the grace of life" 1 Peter 3: Perhaps you have heard the saying that God did not take Eve out of Adam's head, because He did not want her to rule over the man. Neither did He take her out of Adam's feet, because He did not want her to be man's slave.

But He took her out of Adam's side, because He wanted her to be man's companion and helper. Eve was taken out of Adam's side, from near his heart, so that he might remember to keep her always by his side protecting her and always near his heart loving her tenderly and cherishing her. There is a great deal of truth in that symbolic teaching. There is symbolic teaching here too. Adam had something missing within him when the rib was taken out. This was not evident outwardly for the flesh had been closed up. This symbolized a void in his inner life that could be filled only by Eve - for she was made from that rib.

The Jewish rabbis say,. Such is the relationship that God desires should exist between a husband and wife, and through such a fellowship alone will God's power be manifested and His purposes fulfilled.

Men need to have sex in a relationship because it shows strength

In the New Testament, we find both the Lord Jesus and the Apostle Paul inspired by the Holy Spirit quoted this passage from Genesis 2 when referring to husband-wife relationships Matthew The teaching of the Genesis passage is therefore of great importance if we are to have a truly Christian concept of marriage. They were to be fruitful. The procreation of children and the establishment of a home was another reason why God instituted marriage. The sexual function was created by God primarily for this purpose.

The Bible places great emphasis on the home as a centre of Divine worship and service. The ordering of a home under the headship of God is a thing that brings much glory to Him. God gives us children not only to gladden our hearts but also that we might bring them up in His fear, so that they can be faithful witnesses to Him in their generation. This is stressed again and again in the Scriptures Psalm To build a home that glorifies God and testifies to His faithfulness and His care is the calling of every Christian married couple.

Children who are walking in the ways of the Lord are among the most effective sermons that a man can preach. The importance attached by God to this is evidenced by His blessing to Abraham for bringing up his children in godly ways and His cursing of Eli for not doing so Genesis The importance of this is taught in the New Testament too. In the Epistle to the Ephesians, after the mystery of the "Church" as being the Body of Christ is explained Chapters 1 to 3 , Paul goes on to say that the practical application of this truth should be seen in household relationships in the Christian home - between husband and wife, parents and children, master and servant Chapters 5: It is significant that Paul speaks about the home primarily and not about the local church.

This would indicate that it is the testimony of the Christian home that is of primary importance in God eyes. A local church can be strong only as the homes that constitute it are strong. When a spiritual atmosphere is lacking in these homes, it spells doom for the local church too. It is only natural then to expect that Satan's fiercest attacks will be concentrated on this front. In the first home that God established, Satan brought jealousy, hatred and murder Genesis 4: Ever since, he has not spared a single godly home.

Hence, in Ephesians, the section on spiritual warfare immediately follows the section dealing with the Christian home Chapter 6: We are warned thereby that Satan will resist every effort to build a godly home, but we are also told of the armour with which God has provided us, to overcome every attack of the enemy. The establishment of a home that glorifies God is undoubtedly one of the prime purposes of marriage. The command to be fruitful in Genesis 1: Marriage is the God-ordained means by which man and woman can find complete fulfilment of their sexual desires.

This is the third purpose of marriage. Sexual fulfilment in marriage involves far more than just physical satisfaction and pleasure. If that was all there was to it, then man would be no better than an animal. The physical aspect of sex is not despised in the Bible. We have already seen in Chapter One that sex as created by God is sacred and pure.

But the sexual union of husband and wife must always be the symbolic climax and expression of a far deeper union that already exists between them in their inner selves. It should be the physical expression of the agape-love that they have for one another. The marriage-bed must be a sacred altar on which the husband and the wife, through sexual union, express their desire to give themselves in sacrificial service, each for the other, in every department of their life together.

The Bible glorifies sexual love in marriage. It has a whole book describing the story of two lovers - ' The Song of Solomon '. It speaks of the bridegroom rejoicing over the bride Isaiah There is nothing sinful about that - it is legitimate and right. It is because of the impurity always associated with sex in the minds of many that they are unable to understand how God could permit all this to be included in His Word. If our minds are still carnal, we shall see impurity where none exists.

We shall then consider even what God has written in His Word as impure! But as our minds are renewed by the Holy Spirit, we shall begin to view sex as God views it. We shall then recognize that sexual fulfilment in marriage is indeed holy and proper. In the garden of Eden, before sin entered the world, Adam and Eve were to find sexual satisfaction in one another.

With the advent of sin, the Bible tells us that marriage is now all the more necessary perhaps this applies more to men , since an unmarried man is liable to fall easily into sexual sin 1 Corinthians 7: Instead of being perpetually tortured by unsatisfied desire, the Bible advises man to marry, for marriage is the only means that God has ordained whereby men and women may satisfy their sexual desires 1 Corinthians 7: One of the most glorious revelations of Scripture is that the husband-wife relationship is symbolic of the relationship that exists between Christ and the Church Ephesians 5: Wives are told in this Ephesian passage to submit themselves to their husbands, because the husband is the God-appointed head of the wife.

Wives are also commanded to be subject to their husbands in everything as the Church should be to Christ , and to respect and reverence them too. Such submission may not be the accepted custom in our day, but it is nevertheless God's law. A home where this law is flouted will assuredly reap the consequences of disobedience in one way or another. Any Christian girl who has no intention of obeying these commands of God in married life should never get married at all.

Far better for such a girl to remain unmarried, than to be married and then to live in perpetual disobedience to God's commands. Lest any husband think that God's ordinance gives him license to make unreasonable demands upon his wife, the passage goes on to say that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it. This implies that husbands are to love their wives with a self-sacrificing love, giving not just things, but themselves - their very lives - for the well being and happiness of their wives.

As Christ loves the Church with an undying love, it is the husband's duty to love his wife unceasingly, regardless of whether or not he is loved in return. And remember that Christ's love for His disciples led Him to even wash their feet John Husbands are further commanded in the same passage to love their wives as they love their own bodies.

They are not deliberately to hurt or injure the feelings of their wives even as they would not deliberately hurt or injure their own bodies. They are to care for and protect their wives even as they would care for and protect their own bodies from harm and danger. A man who does not intend to follow such Scriptural teaching would best remain unmarried. God's intention as revealed in this passage in Ephesians is that every Christian husband and wife should be in miniature a picture of Christ and the Church.

Their life together should reveal the beauties of this relationship. The fact that the command to be filled with the Holy Spirit Ephesians 5: Conversely, it would mean that in order to glorify God in married life, it is essential that we be filled with the Spirit. Before looking for a life-partner, every Christian should ask himself whether he really desires to have such a home as described above. How can one who has no such longing expect God's guidance in marriage. But if this is really your ambition, you can be certain not only that God will lead you into marriage in His perfect will but also that He will strengthen you to build such a home.

The Bible speaks not only of the glories of marriage but also of the advantages of celibacy. And so it is necessary lest we be considered unbalanced! Paul speaks about celibacy in 1 Corinthians 7. Some have concluded from this chapter and from the Lord's words in Matthew But is this really what the Bible teaches?

We must bear in mind when considering 1 Corinthians 7 , that Paul states four times in this chapter that he is giving his own opinion and that he is uncertain about the Lord's mind in relation to some of the points mentioned see verses 6, 12, 25, In any case, Paul makes it quite clear that even though he wished that all men could be unmarried as he himself was, yet he recognizes that each person has his own particular gift from God verse 7.

It is significant that he uses the word "gift" here, implying thereby that there is no merit attached to celibacy - it being neither an achievement nor a reward but a gift. Jesus used the same word in Matthew He made it very clear that only those who had received this ability from God were to live such a life Matthew There is no special virtue in remaining unmarried.

It is undoubtedly God's calling for a few. But in the vast majority of cases He has planned that marriage should take place. If He wants you to be single He will tell you so. In the absence of such a specific command from God to your own heart personally, you should assume that God wants you to be married. Those who feel that they should remain single must examine their reasons for choosing such a life.

If celibacy is chosen because of a selfish desire to be alone, or because of superiority complex and scorn of the opposite sex, or because of circumstances where "what was desirable was not available and what was available was not desirable", then it is definitely wrong. If on the other hand, one desires to remain single so as to be more free to serve the Lord without distraction, then the motive at least is pure.

But the calling for such a life must still come from God. It was thus with the Apostle Paul 1 Corinthians 7: That celibacy is more conducive to holy living is a wholly erroneous notion. An unmarried person may have more time than a married person for religious activity but such activity is not necessary for holiness. Enoch "walked [in habitual fellowship] with God [for] three hundred years, and had sons and daughters" Genesis 5: He commenced walking with God only after he got married and had his first son.

His walking with God did not hinder him from living a normal married life and having children. Neither did his having a family with its attendant responsibilities prevent him from walking with God. Paul could not therefore have meant that all believers should be celibate. He himself has said elsewhere that those who preach celibacy as a rule of life are actually propagating a doctrine of the Devil 1 Timothy 4: The words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 7: Triton has paraphrased the passage thus: We are in A.

Every persecutor knows a man or woman who cannot be got at directly can often be got at through his family. Therefore, married people are in for a time of acute anxieties and troubles I would spare you these and, therefore, advise against marriage, though please note that I do not say that marriage is sin. I only say that it is asking for trouble at this present time and I would spare you trouble". This would be applicable even today for believers who are in countries where there is intense persecution, war or other similar distress. In any case, we should not try to be what God never intended us to be.

He has already planned a life for each of us - either single or married. Our duty is to find that perfect will of God and to walk in it. In order to know God's perfect will, we must of necessity be willing to accept the calling of a single life - should God clearly call us to such a life. Where such a willingness is lacking, it reveals an area unyielded to the Lord, which in turn will prevent us from knowing God's will for our life. Note the words of the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7: Triton's paraphrase of the passage reads thus:.

And so Paul, who began by saying that celibacy was a gift from God, ends up by saying that marriage too is a Divine gift. He was balanced in his outlook on these matters. It is significant that immediately after the Lord spoke on celibacy, He took up little children in His hands and blessed them, so sanctioning marriage Matthew Such is the balance presented in the Scriptures.

We must hold truth in the same balance. It is in very rare cases indeed that God calls a man to a single life. God Himself has said that a man is, in a sense, complete only when he is married. I will make him a suitable helper, completing him'". It is significant too that the Bible begins with marriage Genesis 2: And so, "let marriage be held in honour - esteemed worthy, precious - that is, of great price and especially dear" Hebrews God alone can lead you to the person best suited to be your life-partner.

In fact He is eager to do so if you will listen to Him. The Bible teaches that God has a plan for the lives of each of His children Ephesians 2: If that is true, then you cannot but believe that God has already planned whether you should be married or not. If He has planned marriage, then He must undoubtedly have planned the person you are to marry too. But God does not force anyone to obey Him. So it is easily possible for a person either to reject or neglect God's plan, and enter instead into a marriage outside the will of God. Next to the salvation of your soul, the most important decision that you have to make in life is that of choosing your life-partner.

You cannot afford to make a mistake here - for this is one decision in life which once made can never be reversed. If you have chosen the wrong vocation, you may yet be able to correct your error; similarly you may correct many other decisions in life. But if you have married outside the will of God, you can never correct your error; you can only try and make the best of a wrong choice. It is a tragedy to miss God's will in marriage. Many who married in haste without awaiting God's time or seeking His will are now repenting at leisure! Surely their example is a warning to young people to tread cautiously in this realm.

It is far better to remain single than to be married outside of God's will. Even though God may in mercy bless those who miss His perfect will in marriage and who later repent, yet true happiness and blessedness can result only from being in the centre of God's perfect will. When God wanted to provide Adam with a partner, He did not make ten women and ask Adam to choose the one he liked best. God made only one and gave her to Adam. Adam had no choice in the matter. The same God has planned only one person for each of His obedient children.

There may be difficulties in understanding all the implications of such teaching - even as there are difficulties in understanding the doctrine of the total sovereignty of God when placed alongside the doctrine of man's free will - but it is nevertheless the teaching of Scripture. If we accept His plan, we shall find that the person God has chosen is indeed the best - prepared by Him in every way to be our complement, even as Eve was for Adam.

Abraham's servant recognized this fact when looking for a bride for Isaac. He did not therefore pray, "Lord, lead me to some good girls here from among whom I can select a suitable match for Isaac". Instead, he prayed, "Lord, lead me to the girl whom you have already selected and appointed to be Isaac's wife" Genesis When God answered his prayer, he could truly say, "The Lord led me" Genesis That was not just a pious phrase glibly used as some use it these days. It was one hundred per cent true.

Would that in all Christian marriages there were that same certainty of having been led together by the Lord - and by the Lord alone. God may lead you to the person He has chosen for you, either directly or indirectly, through your parents and friends. In the Bible, we find only one clear instance of God's guidance in marriage - the case of Isaac and Rebekah, that we have just referred to.

That marriage was not arranged simply by the parents - for Abraham did not even see Rebekah, and his servant also knew nothing about her. Neither was it arranged by the boy and girl themselves - for Isaac and Rebekah had never met each other before.

How Important is Sex for A Man

It was arranged by God. This teaches us that the important thing is not the method God uses to bring two of His children together, but this, that it is He Who has led them to each other. Whether we are led to a person through our parents, or through our friends, or by ourselves, the important thing is to be sure that the person is indeed the one God has chosen for us.

Many young believers are so conscious of the problems caused by culture and other factors which they feel are preventing them from finding their life-partner , that they forget that God is bigger than all their problems put together. Others have a secret fear that God is not interested in their problem at all. They may not perhaps express it in these words but their actions betray them.

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Adam did not have to go and beg God for a wife. God cared for Adam's need, and He cares for yours too. Trust God then and wait patiently for Him to lead you. Restless frenzy can accomplish nothing. There is a beautiful symbolism in the fact that God put Adam to sleep and then woke him up and brought Eve to him Genesis 2: Sleep is a picture of rest; and God wants us to be at rest - resting in Him - until the time comes when He Himself will bring His chosen partner to us.

This does not mean that we have to do nothing, for the rest I am referring to is not an outward physical one but an inward, spiritual one. If we do that, God will assuredly lead us to the right person in His appointed time. If we are busy doing the will of God in all other areas of life, we need not fear or be anxious about missing His will in this one. If you earnestly seek to do all His will, He will undoubtedly bring the person of His choice to you. Let it be by any means - through parents, friends or directly.

Leave it to Him to choose the method. In His appointed time, He will give you all your heart's desire Psalm God may lead you to the right person, in your local church or Christian fellowship group, or in some similar fellowship elsewhere. It may have been God Who providentially arranged circumstances for both of you to meet. It is because many hold perverted views of sex and love that they feel something so "unholy" as finding a partner cannot possibly occur in a holy fellowship gathering!

But surely there is nothing unholy about finding your life-partner. It is a sacred matter before God. If your heart is pure and your conduct becoming of a Christian you don't have to fear what others may say. I mention this here because I have seen some tragic cases of believers who did not look for their partners in the Christian fellowship groups they were in touch with through fear of what others might say , and who ended up by marrying rank unbelievers proposed by their nominal-Christian parents.

The fear of men led them into Satan's well-concealed trap cf. There are some believers whose circumstances may not give them such or any opportunity for fellowship with other born-again Christians, or whose circle of fellowship is small. There are others who may be having problems caused by disease, home-background, unfortunate family situations or cultural factors. These may perhaps wonder how they will ever find the right person.

Giving up all hope of ever doing so, many have finally resigned themselves to marrying unbelievers chosen for them by their parents. All such thinking on the part of any believer is entirely due to lack of faith. Is anything impossible for God? Isn't He interested in each one of us? If your situation looks impossible to you then remember that God specializes in things considered impossible by men.

Trust Him and you will find that "according to your faith it will be done to you" Matthew 9: If you keep your heart sincere towards Him and stand true to the principles given in God's Word, you will find that God's eyes will "run to and fro throughout the whole earth" on your behalf 2 Chronicles Cultural barriers, parental objections, circumstantial difficulties and a thousand and one other hindrances are no problem to our wonder-working God.

I know of a girl who was cut off by her family when she was saved, and who had no-one to negotiate marriage proposals for her. Yet God provided her with a believing partner whose parents, amazingly enough, accepted the proposal without any hesitation, despite her circumstances. God is the One Who rules over circumstances and if He is our Father, we can be sure that when we ask Him for bread, He will not give us a stone.

If evil fathers know how to give good gifts to their children, how much more will our Heavenly Father give good things to those who ask Him Matthew 7: God is waiting for His children to prove His faithfulness. Don't lose God's best by impatience and haste. Many have done just that. Trust Him with all your heart. Those who trust Him wholly will find Him wholly true. No one can ever say that his particular situation or circumstance is an exception. The Lord our God rules over all. I shall not deal here with how to find the will of God, as I have already dealt with that subject in another book: God made Eve to be a helper suitable for Adam.

So she had to be one with Adam in many ways. In your case too, the person you marry should be one with you in many ways. In marriage, two are to become one. The Bible says that two cannot walk together unless they are agreed Amos 3: There must therefore be oneness, similarity and agreement to a large extent, if a marriage is to be successful. Since the two who are to become one are individually composed of spirit, soul and body, there must be a large degree of oneness in these three realms.

Where the union between a man and a woman is a union of spirit, soul and body, their marriage will be one after God's own heart. Such a union will form a three-fold cord which, as Ecclesiastes 4: When seeking God's will about marriage, you must consider the person from these three aspects.

Let us look at them one by one. What I say below is equally applicable to girls even though I may be using the masculine pronoun only. We must start with the spirit, for this is the highest part of man. If oneness does not exist in this realm, it is useless to look for it elsewhere. The spirit of a man is that part of him that has the capacity for fellowship with God. In an unbeliever - i. Since the living cannot be united with the dead, there is no question of a believer even considering marriage with an unbeliever.

If you are joined to the Lord, your spirit is now one with His 1 Corinthians 6: It takes a union between the man and the woman and the Lord to make a truly Christian marriage. Anything less than that can never be called a Christian marriage. The yoke is a very clear symbol of marriage. The picture is of two oxen pulling a plough together - symbolizing a husband and a wife united and working together for the Lord.

In the Old Testament, God's people were forbidden to plough with an ox and an ass together Deuteronomy The believer too has a different nature from the unbeliever. Hence the Bible also says,.

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It is obvious that if you as a child of God marry an unbeliever who is a child of the Devil- John 8: With such a father-in-law, you can be sure of endless trouble for the rest of your life. Some believers may contend that if one marries an unbeliever, he can thereby save a soul from Hell.