Youre Not My Mommy! WARNINGS from an Ex-Stepmother

The likelihood of getting re-married after divorce increases with age for males and falls for females.

She wants to be with her partner as opposed to being there for a function. Meanwhile, children too have changed.

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Also, children like consistency. They can also find themselves in a household where arrangements are in a permanent state of flux. The only way of managing it, he says, is to negotiate the complex interconnecting roles and boundaries of everyone involved — the biological parents, the children and the new partner.

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He may have divided loyalty between this new partner and his first-family children, she explains, and this can place a major strain on the relationship. Step-mothers can feel quite overwhelmed by the complexities involved in second-family life, she warns. What precedent does that set those children? My boys moan about their stepdad being strict sometimes.

A happier parent makes for happier kids.

Talk to each other. Most crucially, never use the kids as pawns. And my own stepmother?

Well, she left my dad after years of marriage. To order a copy go to bookshop. Both my parents were remarried within four years.

More stepgrandparents, more presents: Divorce Parents and parenting features. Order by newest oldest recommendations. Show 25 25 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded.

• “You’re Not My Mommy!” WARNINGS from an Ex-Stepmother.
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• My ex’s girlfriend is threatening our amicable co-parenting.

Loading comments… Trouble loading? It is unfortunate that he keeps putting his daughter first. At this point, when she is older and much more independent one would expect that he would give you more time and consideration.



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What is holding him back? Perhaps the fact that visitation was so very short that he continues to feel frustrated about seeing his daughter more frequently. However, not that she is adult they should be able to see one another as frequently as they like regardless of what his ex wife thinks. Perhaps you could discuss it with him. It may date back to when he was a child and disappointments he might have felt with one or both of his parents. Only by talking could you ever know and by knowing feel more forgiving of him. In other words, his daughter might be top priority but you are also a priority.



There should be room for both especially since his daughter could celebrate your birthday with both of you if that is ok with you. For those seeking addiction treatment for themselves or a loved one, the MentalHelp.