Trusting Her

This can be a hard question to answer, especially at the beginning of a relationship, but your own instincts about another person and the way they behave over time are two important things to consider when making that decision. Building trust requires mutual commitment. So, as your relationship progresses, ask yourself:.

Does your partner listen to you and support you? Are they sensitive to your problems, worries and fears?

Introduction

Do they show compassion and genuinely care about you? A person who is trustworthy is able to demonstrate consideration and care of others. Each person in a relationship demonstrates their trustworthiness through consistency in their actions.

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The first behaviors you look at might be relatively small, like showing up for dates at agreed-upon times. Again, learning these things in a relationship happens gradually, as you both show that you are consistent with your actions not just occasionally, but all the time. We have all suffered in some way actually, we have all suffered in very similar ways , and we have all felt pain in relationships. We're all in the same boat. I say this because it's comforting to realize that we're not alone.

We're in this together people! We've all been hurt, and we're all trying to avoid that happening again. Usually the way we try to avoid being hurt in relationships is by holding-off on trusting until we know we are safe. Trusting becomes a mechanism of protection — if the person "earns our trust" then we will gladly give it to them.

See a Problem?

Asking someone to "earn our trust" often means we are asking them not to make any mistakes and not to cause us to feel uncomfortable feelings. And this is an impossible task. Unfortunately guarantees are not found in relationships computers come with guarantees — not people. And guarantees are definitely not found in our love relationships.

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We're way too complex for that. In fact you're not going to like this , what you probably can guarantee is that you will feel hurt sometimes by the people you love. I wish I could tell you otherwise but the truth is that disappointment, rejection, fear, and abandonment are all part of the deal in relationships. We feel these feelings regardless of who we are with. Not because we are with untrustworthy people, but because we are humans. You have to realize that trust is not about finding the perfect, trustworthy person; it's about signing up to work through hurt when it arises.

If we relate to trust through this perspective then trusting becomes much easier. All of the sudden we shift from trying to avoid being hurt which is impossible , to recognizing that we can move through anything that comes our way. This helps us feel empowered aka a little more trusting and a little less fearful. When we use past experiences as reasons not to trust again, then we are really only hurting ourselves. Again, we all have reasons not to trust.

Can You Trust Her?

We all have a long list! But walling ourselves off from each other only perpetuates the problem—this does not keep us safe; it keeps us lonely. When you decide to trust someone it means that you believe in that person's integrity. Trusting is knowing that ultimately this person's intentions are good. Long story short, you want to trust them because you want to start a life with them.

This Is How To Let Go Of Fear And Learn To Trust Again | HuffPost

As others have said, it is also good for your relationship, but can overall make you a more trustworthy person and if all goes wrong, it will be easier to get someone else to find you trustworthy. Think about the last time you two had sex. Better hope you flushed it, because otherwise she can dig that puppy right out of the trashcan and put you on the hook for the next eighteen years. When she told you she swallowed, did you grab a flashlight and check, like a psych nurse, or did you take her word for it?

Did you fall asleep afterwards? Because if you two slept at your place, that gave her plenty of time to make copies of all of your banking information and steal your Playstation. If you ever find out she did cheat on you, then by all means dump her ass. Having someone you can depend on if need be. Like when you have problems in life, having someone in your corner is a nice feeling.

If you love her and intend to have a serious relationship eventually, you should trust her as your better half.

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It makes this life a little easier when we have someone we can trust in besides God. And we are supposed to leave our family and be joined in Union with the one we love.

This Is How To Let Go Of Fear And Learn To Trust Again

If you don't feel that way, then maybe you shouldn't trust her with everything. Ask New Question Sign In. What is the point of trusting your girlfriend? Elasticsearch Service - Start a day free trial. The only solution built by the makers of Elasticsearch. Free Trial at elastic. You dismissed this ad. The feedback you provide will help us show you more relevant content in the future.