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Manners Matters

To prove the point, I made a judgment about him when he made that statement. That he was the one with bad manners. And even worse, he seemed clueless about the kind of manners that are much more valuable than proper silverware usage. He lacked the critically important manners that provide us with the "how to" guide for interacting thoughtfully, respectfully, and empathically with others in almost every personal and professional situation imaginable on a daily basis.

And please, don't make the mistake of thinking that the more educated, wealthy, or worldly have better manners. I've been in places overflowing with highly paid professionals who hold positions of great authority, only to be shocked when they rush into an opening elevator with the speed and agility of an NFL lineman, nearly tackling anyone blocking their way.

Why do manners matter?

And I've been in public places with tough looking teenagers who were not only street smart, but apparently manners smart, too. They took the few extra seconds to hold a door open for someone, leaving me smiling and feeling much more positive about the future of America's youth.

What is clear is that manners really do matter , and children should be learning them at home and school right alongside reading, writing, math and all the other essential subjects needed for living a productive and satisfying life.

Just how important are manners? It's a topic that receives serious attention from experts as diverse as Pier Forni, PhD , co-founder of the Civility Project at Johns Hopkins University, which examines the significance of civility, manners, and politeness in contemporary society; and Dr. Forni states, "The rules of good manners are the traffic lights of human interaction.

They make it so that we don't crash into one another in everyday behavior. Our distant ancestors developed behaviors to show others respect, fairness and kindness.


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Those have evolved into today's manners. Brazelton echoes Forni's comments adding that, "In past generations, teaching a child manners was an important part of early training.


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We are in a hurry, and most families are stressed. Manners may be left out or forgotten.

Good Manners Matter! - Series - ABDO

We must teach our children to be polite and respectful of everyone they encounter, and to be thankful for small blessings. But what have our children been exposed to for the past few years? During this last election cycle, we heard a lot about protecting the Second Amendment, but very little about protecting the First Amendment — freedom of the press, speech, assembly, petition, and religious beliefs. Under banana republic totalitarian regimes, journalists, writers, civil-rights activists, and even cartoonists have risked their lives to get their version of truth to the outside world.

We must teach our children to respect and protect those who speak truthfully, who fight for fairness and justice, and who practice good manners and goodwill to all.

Once children learn how to have a conversation, grown-ups try to teach them good speaking manners like not interrupting, lowering their voices, and how to greet and respond to other people. Sometimes no response is the best response. Nobody is always right all the time. Everybody makes mistakes, misses the point, or takes the wrong turn. But instead of blaming the referee and being a sore loser, accept your defeat, learn from your mistakes, and try, try again.

Be faithful to your core values — but never be afraid to change your mind. Apologizing and taking responsibility for your words and actions is really good manners. You are no more entitled to special perks than the next guy in line.

Manners Matters (Do Manners Matter?)

Respect for others matters. You can help make a kinder year than was. Etiquette is all those ingrained behaviors and social niceties practiced in public, depending on where you live. In others, only the right hand can be used for eating, and in others still they use chopsticks, scoop food from a communal dish with bread, or eat pizza with a knife and fork. There is also body language to consider.

Around the world, people nod, smile, bow, kiss, curtsy, genuflect, rub noses, salute, or fist-bump when greeting someone. Dec 17, 8: Dec 17, - Dec 21, Dec 19, Dec 20, 5: Rotunda at Easton's Beach. Dec 21, Dec 21, 5: Dec 22, - Dec 23, Dec 24, If you go out for a meal, the most senior person should pay, or the vendor should pay, or if you are with business peers offer to pay. Anything else is just crass. One of the areas that I being English notice is table manners. When you wait for the other people at the table to start eating you show respect for the fact that you are sharing a meal with them.

When you carefully watch their pace to make sure you finish your plate just after them, you ensure that no one else feels embarrassed to be finishing last. Saying thank you or sending a small thank you note or email when someone has spent time with you or has done a favor for you, goes a long way in establishing relationship.

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In the end, it does not matter what role you are in, treating the people around you with respect - through your manners - makes a positive impression and will earn you respect. Behaving rudely and disrespecting others with your behavior may not impact whether you are the boss or if someone buys from you; but it does change what people privately think about you, and over time, whether they want to work with you again in the future. William of Wykeham used "Manners Makyth Man" as the motto for the colleges he founded years ago.