Disappointment - Deal with It!

What are my strengths , and how can I make the most use of them in this situation? You already have everything you need to turn disappointment into a positive and empowering experience. However, to move through this process successfully, you may need to fine-tune your problem-solving and creative thinking skills. Have you ever considered the fact that your disappointment is nothing more than a problem that needs to be solved? To solve this problem, you will need to think creatively and critically.

Only in this way will you figure out a solution that can help you move past your disappointment. Always be mindful of the difference between fact and fiction. Facts are built upon concrete evidence, and fictitious things are based on your opinions, assumptions, and perspectives of the situation. Opinions, perspectives, and assumptions have no concrete evidence backing them up. To solve this problem successfully, you will need to cultivate optimism , patience , gratitude , and enthusiasm. You will need to be adaptable and flexible in your approach, and you will need to persevere until your desired outcome is achieved.

In addition to this, find time for laughter. Laugh at your disappointments. See the humorous side of every situation. This will help you relax, and may even stimulate creative thoughts, insights, and ideas.

When you modify your expectations, you begin to see things more clearly and rationally. This will likewise help you to alter your objectives. A modified objective will provide you with a realistic target you can work towards. And, of course, once you hit that mark you can then raise the bar higher the next time around. And as a human being, you typically hold expectations of how you would like things to be. Expectations are, of course, wonderful as they help us to look forward with anticipation to a desired future.

Moreover, expectations can keep us focused , motivated , and are critical for goal setting. Whenever you set goals, you create desired outcomes for yourself. More times than not, things may not turn out as expected. Given this, you need to prepare yourself for handling disappointment.

Here are nine suggestions that can help you to work through your disappointments in optimal ways. You, instead, need to relax and calm your mind. With that in mind, take a moment to calm yourself down. You can, for instance, do this by focusing on the present moment. Or, simply, step away from the situation to clear your thoughts. The key is to give yourself the space you need to clear your mind. Other suggestions that may work for you include taking a nap, getting a massage, or indulging in a steam room or sauna.

This can help trigger new insights and perspectives that could help you modify your approach moving forward. Distract yourself by listening to music, by watching a movie, by talking with someone, or through reading a book. These distractions will help settle you down. Think for a moment about a time you were extremely excited about something.

5 Steps to Deal With Disappointment in Life

How did you move your body during those moments? How did you stand, breathe, and gesture? This is what I would call a resourceful state-of-mind. Now think about a time where you experienced incredible disappointment. I bet your body was moving somewhat differently, right? Your posture was probably slumped, your breath was shallow, and your gestures were subdued. This is what I would call an unresourceful state-of-mind. Understanding the difference between a resourceful and unresourceful state-of-mind — as it relates back to your physiology — is paramount when it comes to snapping yourself out of disappointment.

While experiencing disappointment, pay attention to your physiology and immediately make some adjustments. For instance, think about how you would use your body while feeling excited and confident. Once you have a clear picture of what this would look like, make the necessary adjustments to how you move, talk, gesture, and breathe. Disappointment can frequently result from misunderstandings, from confusion, and is often based on your personal expectations and interpretations of a situation. Just maybe, you really have nothing to be disappointed about. All you need to do is shift your perspective of the situation and, all of a sudden, what seemed unfortunate, may, in fact, turn into your greatest opportunity.

How you perceive things must encourage you to move forward with confidence. What if instead of feeling disappointed you shifted your perspective in the following three ways:. Everything happens for a reason… Why is it important that I experience this disappointment? These three shifts in perspective provide you with new insights that encourage you to think more objectively about your situation. Yes, you did something. All your disappointments provide you with valuable lessons you can use to improve your chances of success the next time around.

However, hear me out…. Instead, shift your perspective about the situation by reframing it in more optimal ways. The reality is that no matter how hard you try, you will never be perfect. Accept the fact that perfection is not attainable and focus instead on making progressive improvement over time. However, even when it comes to improvement, you will often take two steps forward and one step back.

You need to take that one step back to gain a clearer perspective and understanding of your predicament. You must learn from that experience without resistance. When it comes to sudden and unexpected feelings disappointment, sometimes the more you try and control the outcome, the more frustration and disappointment you will experience. Instead, give up the desire to control external events, and instead, use the suggestions listed here to work through moments of disappointment in optimal ways.

Thinking short-term and not having the foresight to look beyond your disappointment will prevent you from seeing the bigger picture and the possibilities that may exist on the horizon. Your disappointment is only one battle that has temporarily pulled you off course. You will, of course, win some battles, and lose others.

No matter what happens, the battles are only part of the bigger picture. Winning the war is what counts in the end.

1. How to Cope with Disappointment.
2. How to Deal with Disappointment: The Complete Guide;
3. ;
4. The Miracles of Christ (Christ - from a pragmatic viewpoint Book 2);

The moment of disappointment presents a perfect and unique opportunity to expand your horizons. As one door closes a window opens.

How to Deal With Disappointment (with Pictures) - wikiHow

Sometimes the open window will be out of sight. You merely need to look for the signs that an opportunity exists. Get a feel for where the breeze is coming from. This will help you adjust your course of action moving forward. As long as you stay positive and receptive, you will eventually find a way out of your disappointing situation.

After a disappointment, take some time to ask yourself some thought-provoking questions that will help you to get a better understanding of the situation:. These questions will lay down a path to help you move forward with a greater sense of clarity and confidence as you work toward your goals.

Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong, at the worst possible time, all at once, when you least expect it.

How to Cope with Disappointment

To minimize future disappointment, you need to take into account what could potentially go wrong as you make progress toward your goals. You must then formulate appropriate contingency plans to reduce the risk of potential failure and mistakes. However, it can certainly help you make better decisions when confronted with seemingly unexpected setbacks.

That is what will make all the difference tomorrow. Did you gain value from this article? Is it important that you know and understand this topic? Would you like to optimize how you think about this topic? Would you like a method for applying these ideas to your life? This mind map provides you with a quick visual overview of the article you just read. This doesn't necessarily mean doing so in public.

Though, letting out your emotions are healthier than suppressing them. However, avoid lashing out at others. For instance, if you did not get the promotion, writing a bitter e-mail to your supervisor will not only deteriorate the situation, you might get fired. Put your problems in perspective. In the immediate aftermath of a disappointment, it's often really difficult to see the aftermath as anything but an unmitigated disaster.

Ask yourself, Will this matter one year from now? A lot of times, asking this question will bring you back to reality. It's terrible that you dented your car, but will it be fixed in a week? You failed a quiz, but will that matter when the semester ends with a passing grade? You have an injury, and cannot finish out your spring sport, which is unfortunate, but you can play next year.

Moving Forward

Talk to a rational, calm, sympathetic friend or relative about your situation -- preferably someone older who has had plenty of setbacks and can offer some more insight. Writing your feelings and thoughts down can help express frustration, anger, fear, and other negative feelings, too. This can be helpful if you can't immediately talk to a sympathetic ear. While you're at it writing your " grief list ", the mere fact of your writing it, kindly takes the focus out your deep-felt present disappointment what with your resilience and your up-bringing start suggesting alternatives that somehow, in a very delicate and sensible way, will let you see some light and hopes.

Identify a real "disaster" versus something less dire. Real disasters do happen to people: Failing an exam is not on this scale. It's easy to fall into the trap of "nothing this bad has ever happened to me! Be careful writing about your disappointment on social media. It can be helpful to hear feedback and support from friends in times of disappointment.

But be careful of the particular situation. You may be thinking, Grateful??? How can I be grateful at a time like this? Chances are you have a lot to be thankful for: You might be focused on the things you don't have that you haven't had a moment to step back and feel blessed for the things that you do have.

Make a list of all of the things you have to be thankful for. You'll see that there is a lot more good in your life than bad. And, typically, what you have is more important to you than whatever disappointment you are facing. Be grateful for your problems. Turn your frustration inside-out.

Sure, it's disappointing that you did not get into your first-choice college Maybe you didn't get that job you interviewed for Finding out you have diabetes is unfortunate Take some time to heal. It's great to let your feelings out and to acknowledge that you're feeling sad and disappointed. However, wallowing in self-pity cannot be a long-term plan. There is no particular guideline on how long this should take; but the sooner you start thinking positively, the sooner you'll be able to make a plan for success.

Take some time to care for yourself physically. You may feel a lot better after taking a long walk and getting some sun. You may need some time to yourself to "lick your wounds"; that is natural. But don't isolate yourself for very long, as prolonged moping will not do you any good, either. Music can help work through feelings, depending on your needs.

One person may find comfort in angst-filled heavy metal, another in gospel music, another in Tibetan folk music Artists throughout history have drawn inspiration from disappointment. So compose a song, draw anime, paint a self-portrait Take some time to reflect on what you can learn from your situation. Disappointment is an emotion occurring when what you want to have happen, doesn't happen. Sometimes it's simply bad luck, but more often than not our plans or expectations need adjustment.

Was your expectation unrealistic? For instance, your year old girlfriend was probably not going to be the person you were going spend the rest of your life with It still hurts to have a break-up, but realizing you weren't married and that you will date many, many people in your life may help soften the blow. What can I do better next time? You did awful on your SAT.

Fortunately, there are many programs, books, and other resources available to do better next time. Plus, you have the experience to know what to expect next time. Finally, you typically have many chances to shine. Avoid dwelling on blame. Okay, so maybe you messed up - or maybe life is just unfair. Even if you did have something to do with it, give up the regret and move forward. And if you don't have anything to do with it -- you're working your butt off and your boss still won't give you a raise -- then take a step back and see that it's the world that is a little unfair right now, but that you've done everything in your power to move ahead.

Plenty of would-be actors flood Hollywood hoping for stardom, and rarely do they achieve success without a lot of disappointment. That is, if they find work at all. Actors who "make it" typically work relentlessly to find roles, get told "no" over and over again, get very minor roles at best, and yet remain optimistic. A person who thinks getting a leading movie role will be easy, gets frustrated every time they don't get picked for a call-back, and is not willing to keep trying will likely never make it in Tinsel-town.

Ask yourself, am I impatient? Becoming good at something generally takes an extremely long time, and this is something generally not depicted well on television or movies, for instance: Strain to see the silver lining. You may think that there's absolutely nothing positive in the situation, but that is rarely the case. So you broke up with the person who you thought was the love of your life.

Were you really so perfect for each other? So you lost your job. Was it really the best fit for you anyway? One door may have closed, but maybe a window will open, and the whole experience can lead to something even better for you. Trying to find the good in the situation will help you think positively. And if you want to move forward from your disappointment, then that's a must. Okay, so you got fired.

You injured your leg. Give your situation a little bit of time until you feel calm enough to make a rational decision. Obviously, you should start looking for new work sooner than you should start training for a race with an injured leg, but you get the picture. If you try to solve the problem directly after the setback, you're likely to make a decision out of desperation and despair, not from a rational standpoint.

Watch the entire first season of The Killing. Take a long walk every day for a week. Don't do anything that would make you wallow or be upset, but clear your mind, do something different, and start to heal. This is another important part of dealing with disappointment. You can't keep thinking that the world is completely unfair, and that what happened to you was completely horrible. Okay, so maybe it was, but it happened, and there's nothing you can do to make it un-happen.

It was in the past, and this is your present. And if you want to have a better future, then you have to accept the past for what it was, however unpleasant it may be. Obviously, you need to "practice" acceptance because it won't happen overnight. Let's say your husband cheated on you -- are you going to "accept" that overnight? Obviously not, but you can come to a place where thinking about it no longer leaves you feeling completely angry and bitter. Spend time with close friends and family. Sure, hanging out with Mom or your best friend Mindy might not help you improve your career or find a new place to live, but it can make you feel better about the process.

You'll see that you have so many great relationships in your life, and that you have an awesome support system that can help you through it all. Though you don't have to rehash the disappointment with everyone, just having them there will make you feel like you're not so alone with your pain. Don't force yourself into loud social outings if you're not feeling up to it; hang out with your friends and family in low-key settings. Make a new plan. The old plan didn't work out for you, did it?

Ships have to change courses in the middle of the night all the time to avoid unforeseen obstacles, and so will you. Find a new way to get to that dream career, to find that perfect man, or to make your dream charity come to life. Maybe you've had a setback in your health and won't be able to walk for a few months.

Work with a physical therapist to make a plan for success. Take a look at your life in a new way. How can you still follow your dreams, make yourself happy, but move things around? Talk to people who know what they're doing. If you're a teacher who is struggling with your job, talk to the principal. If you're trying to make it as an artist, see if there are other artists in your city who will be willing to offer some insight. Call a family friend who knows something about having to relocate to an unpleasant location for a job. Talk to your mom about what it was like when she went through her divorce.

Though every situation is different, getting advice from different people provided that you trust them , will give you more direction and will make you see that plenty of other people are struggling, too. Be open to new opportunities. So you may not become director of the writing program at your small college. But there's a new reading series that opened up and they want you to be in charge. Dash at the opportunity to do something new that can give you experience, help you work with a variety of people, and give you more confidence about achieving your goals.

If you only want to do thing A, B, or C, then you'll be turning a blind eye when opportunity Z, the best opportunity of all, struts right by you. A new person can be a new opportunity, too. Don't close off and hang out with the same circle of friends; a new friend can bring new momentum and energy to your life. Maybe you've only looked for work as a high school teacher and just can't get a break. Why not try something different but related, like teaching community college? It can still be a great opportunity that will give you the experience you need.

The Nobel-Prize-winning author, Alice Munro, didn't publish a book until she was 37!!! Look at the lives of other people who dealt with major disappointments before coming out the other end with more guts and more appreciation for what they have. If success was served up on a silver platter, then it wouldn't be worth the struggle, would it? Learn from your mistakes. So you've had a disappointment. Does that mean that all it did was set you back a few years and ruin your mood?

There's something that you can learn from any situation, whether it's that you should do your research more, not be so trusting, or not jump into something that you feel a little uncertain about.