What to Say to Women After You Say Hello (Master of Seduction Book 3)
It may be difficult at first but doing so can make you seem friendly and confident, which are both things girls often find attractive. Studies have shown that smiling alters the chemicals in your brain to make you feel happier and more confident. Don't approach her if she's clearly busy or distracted. Different environments can make the girl you like more or less apt to be willing to have a conversation with you.
You should consider approaching her at a later time. Places like bars, coffee shops, book stores or even the gym may be good places to strike up a conversation. Many people go to such places for the social element and she may be expecting to talk to people while there. Approach her soon after you make eye contact. If you and your crush meet eyes from across the room, approach her soon thereafter.
If you look at her for a long time before approaching you may make her feel uncomfortable. Your conversation should seem impromptu rather than planned, so allow making eye contact from across the room to be the catalyst that made you want to strike up a conversation. Give your conversation purpose. You could try being direct in your conversation. Would you mind if I talked to you for a minute?
Embrace your shyness when you speak to her. No matter how much you practice, you still may get nervous talking to your crush. Instead get out in front of your nervousness by addressing it in conversation. Ask questions or make observations to keep the conversation from dying. Try pointing out something interesting that is going on around you.
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Ask for a way to reach out to her. Take advantage of the situation by asking if it would be okay for you to call her or add her on social media. Approach shyness like any other problem. Being shy is an emotional obstacle that you can overcome with effort and practice. If you needed to lose weight, you would create a plan to follow a diet and exercise. To overcome shyness, you can also create a plan. Use the plan to create short term goals that culminate in being comfortable approaching her.
The first step in your plan to overcome your shyness should be to practice engaging with people at home. Get comfortable saying things out loud like introducing yourself or giving a pleasant greeting. Practice in front a mirror so you can see what you look like when you interact and make adjustments to present a more confident demeanor.
Re-frame your idea of rejection. Shyness often comes from a fear of being rejected. Instead of thinking of rejection as a personal failure, see it for what it really is: People have bad days, experience bad moods, or struggle with their own insecurities when it comes to dealing with others.
In fact, if you adopt the right perspective, it may not even hurt. Instead of seeing rejection as a failure, see it as a chance to learn from your experience and develop a better understanding of how to interact with others. Stop trying to predict the future. A fear of rejection comes from the common practice of trying to predict how events will occur before you experience them. This can increase your confidence and make you come off as a more self-assured person. Because they are too shy to admit it. They are worried that you will make fun of them or that your relationship will become awkward.
Not Helpful 9 Helpful What if she stays with her friend or sister and I'm afraid she might let known to her friend or sister about my approach towards her? Professional dating coach , radio personality and self help book author Alan Roger Currie has frequently criticized the seduction community and many of the misleading and manipulative tactics espoused by many of the more popular pickup artists.
Currie is specifically critical of men giving women the misleading impression that they are interested in engaging in a long-term, emotionally profound, monogamous romantic relationship when those men know in reality that they are really seeking to engage in some form of short-term, non-monogamous, casual sex with these same women. After year-old systems analyst George Sodini killed three women and himself in the Collier Township shooting , media asked whether he had been influenced by his involvement in the PUA community. The seduction community has received increased media attention, [63] [64] [65] [66] since the publication of Neil Strauss ' article on the community in The New York Times , [10] and his memoir The Game.
Response to the seduction community has been varied; it has been called misogynistic , and a review of The Game in the San Francisco Chronicle characterized the community as "a puerile cult of sexual conquest", and calls its tactics "sinister" and "pathetic". Feminists tend to be critical of the seduction community.
Beatrix Campbell has stated that The Game "sexually objectifies women", arguing that "Nowhere from its description do you get a sense of men being helped to be human in an easy and agreeable way According to an article in Eye Weekly , some feminists believe that pickup "isn't just cheesy; it's offensive". Avoid seeing women as conquests and men as competition. An article in the Houston Press claimed that the seduction community "isn't the lechfest it might sound like".
The article quotes the webmaster of confidentup. This isn't just a game of words and seduction, it's an overall life improvement. Several writers describe observing men in the seduction community first-hand. Some women recount experiences with men they believed to be pickup artists who tried to "pick them up", and some men recount trying out pickup techniques. Catherine Townsend, writing for The Independent , describes a negative experience with a man she believed was a pickup artist and used a lot of "negs" on her: An article in San Francisco Magazine recounts the experience the blogger "Dolly", who is the author of the popular sex blog The Truth about Cocks and Dolls , had with the seduction community.
According to the article, Dolly was:. That they want to get laid, too? Guys have always wanted sex and will continue to want sex. After spending three days immersed in a Mystery Method Corp now Love Systems seminar, Gene Weingarten expressed his uneasiness about "a step by step tutorial for men in how to pick up women, make them comfortable in your presence, and bed them, ideally within seven hours of your first meeting" and wondered aloud, "Is there something inherently wrong with the notion of seduction as a classroom-taught skill, complete with a long hierarchy of 'lines' that work, seemingly spontaneous topics of conversation that are anything but spontaneous, tricks for seeming 'vulnerable', and tips on how to behave so as to deliver subtle but effective nonverbal inducements to intimacy?
Rifkind describes initially struggling with seduction techniques, eventually learning to attract women's interest, and then feeling guilty. Rifkind writes, "After a little more practice, my 'game' is improving dramatically. I can open with fluency, and there's an injection of confidence which comes from knowing exactly what you are going to say next. As a human being and, perhaps more crucially, as somebody with a girlfriend, I feel like absolute scum.
The media attention and rapid growth of the seduction community has led to commercialization and competition. In The Game , Strauss describes the competition between seduction gurus. An academic paper on the community, published in by Eric C. Hendriks in the journal Cultural Analysis , details the value system guiding successful members of the seduction community based on an international study including participant observation of bootcamp and "lair" meetings in Germany. The article argues that the values of successful practitioners of the "Venusian arts" are informed by an intertwining of "hedonistic goals and diffused forms of innerworldly asceticism ".
According to Hendricks, the hedonistic goal of sexual satisfaction interacts in a complex fashion with a set of "disciplinarian and ascetic values", and the author stresses that these disciplinarian and ascetic values are central to the value system of performant practitioners, even though the marketing of seduction gurus often promises an easy, effortless "quick fix". Research by Nathan Oesch of the University of Oxford Department of Experimental Psychology confirmed attraction and seduction principles, as described in Strauss' books on the subject, do have a factual basis in social, physiological and evolutionary psychology.
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Most of the focus of the book is on the first two steps, starting an interaction and sparking attraction.
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- The 3 Best Ways to Approach a Girl if You're Shy and Don't Know What to Say!
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This is fine, since it's the area where the majority of men get stuck and have the most problems. This section starts off by showing you why it's so important for men to start the interaction, and not wait for women to do so. It does a good job of explaining things from a woman's point of view about this topic, so you'll realize why it's your responsibility to make the first move.
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So there's some info on dealing with approach anxiety and the most common thoughts guys have that prevent them from talking to women. You'll also see Dan talk about the right mindset and attitude to have from the very start of the interaction that seems to automatically create attraction. It seems like a pretty simple shift in mindset but it does make a big difference when you do it correctly.
For what to actually say, there are three types of conversation starters taught here.
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The types of conversation starters are not original, but some of the specific examples are. Most of these are pretty simple and work well when done right.
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Most of the examples revolve around approaching women in a bar, but there's also suggestions for daytime situations. There's nothing here that's difficult to do or weird in a way that will get you called out for being a pick up artist. This section is the longest part of the book, and also the area that guys typically have the most trouble with. One of the main principles that drives everything here is that you should be playing the dominant, masculine role in the interaction. That for attractive, feminine women to be attracted to you, you must be a confident, masculine man.
Dan goes into detail on how a lot of guys lower their status and don't act in a strong and masculine way because they think by being nice and polite it'll make women realize what a gentleman they are and how good of a catch the guy is. None of these concepts are anything new, but they are explained in an easy to understand way. So for beginners this is a good overview of some of the most important points for what it takes to naturally create real and lasting attraction in women. If you want a more advanced look into the role that status plays in sexually attracting women, then check out The Social God System by Jason Capital.
For an advanced look at the importance of playing the masculine gender role, take a look at the Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. Dan talks about eight personality traits that are attractive to women and spends some time going into detail on each of these with examples. Some of the things here are likely to work better for you than others, so you'll have to experiment a bit and see what you get the best results with. One thing to keep in mind is to be careful about going overboard with the banter and 'playfully arrogant' humor that is talked about here.
It's effective when done right and in the right doses, but can become tiresome when you overdo it. Dan and his coaches are based in Australia, where in general girls are a lot more used to guys teasing and making fun of them. Depending on where you live and the culture, you might need to tone it down somewhat. When it comes to humor it's a very individual thing and you'll have to find what fits your personality so you can be congruent with what you're saying. But overall there are a ton of examples in this section so you should find it helps you use humor more effectively with women.
Sometimes when you're in the early stages of talking to a woman, she won't respond all that positively. This is an issue Dan talks about in depth and tells you why she's doing it, plus how to handle the situation to turn it around. It might seem a bit tough at first, but if you practice this you'll start seeing some results from it. Overall, this part of the book is a really solid resource on what it takes to attract women and if you're new to learning dating skills you'll pick up a lot of great ideas here.
Even if you've got some experience, there'll likely be some things here and there that'll be of particular use for where you're at. In the model here, after you've attracted a woman you need to develop a connection with her. This is the shortest section and while there are some solid examples here, there's not a ton of depth.
There are four different techniques Dan teaches you to create a connection. It's pretty simple and straightforward and nothing difficult you'll need to learn. If this is an area that you know you really need to work on, then you'll likely need something more comprehensive. After connecting comes taking it to the next level, and this could be getting a phone number, arranging a date, or leading the interaction towards sex.
Part of what is taught here is how to recognize when a woman is interested, so you don't miss the window of opportunity in moving things forward. There's details and examples on what to do so that you can escalate physically and make sure things are headed in a romantic or sexual direction. Overall this is a solid section with advice that is well tailored to the beginner level. The one thing that wasn't covered was texting when it comes time to call the girl.
Dan talks a bit about handling the phone call and what tactics to employ here, but it was strange texting was completely neglected when it's such a common way to communicate these days.
I took a class on how to pick up women. I learned more about male anxiety
Especially if you're a beginner, texting can make things easier as you don't have to worry about nerves when calling or saying the wrong thing on the phone. So if you purchase The Flow it's recommended you get a product that will cover this area for you, and the one we recommend is How2TxtHer by Christian Hudson. The quality of the information in The Flow is of a high standard, and gives a good broad overview of how to be successful with women and dating. There's not a lot of originality here, so if you've read other dating advice products you might feel you've heard most of these ideas before.
If you're a beginner and you want something that gives you a good mix of mindsets and attitudes combined with actionable steps and techniques, then this is well worth checking out. It's not the most complete system or guide out there, but it's certainly enough to get you started. This is a good introductory book for beginners on how to be more attractive to women.
There isn't anything really original here, but it's taken some of the best available ideas and tried to simplify them. If you like dating advice without complicated theory and jargon, then you'll appreciate this product. This ebook teaches you about what women really want in a man and how you can quickly get the results that you want with women.
The second phase is learning how to use the program itself, which is designed as a revolutionary, 4-step process that causes women to automatically feel attracted to you and want to get to know you. The Flow helps you to smoothly move from a conversation, to a phone number, to a date. It includes a number of word-for-word conversation and flirting examples, as well as perspective shifts and insights about success with women.
The Story of The Flow Chapter 1: Direct Conversation Starters 2. Situational Conversation Starters 3. Simple Conversation Starters Chapter 3: Socially Intelligent Chapter 4: Talk From Your Perspective 2. Be Easy Going 3. Ask Questions and Expand on Her Answers 4. Create Intimate Energy Moments Chapter 5: Get Alone With Her 3. Call Her to Arrange a First Date 8. Kiss Her on the First Date 9.