The Wrong End Of A Gun (A Noir Mystery Short)
It had an end moorage and was the biggest and classiest of them all. The wraparound deck offered a full view of the city skyline and the surrounding water caught reflections that danced across the lake. I figured this place had to be worth a mint. But the main attraction for me was the lady inside. Gabriella opened the door before I could ring the bell. I gave her the once-over and liked what I saw.
She was wearing a carnation-colored robe that revealed a lot of cleavage. I wondered if she wore anything underneath it.
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It had cane furnishings, rich, paneled walls, multiple windows, and more than a touch of class. I could get used this quickly. I returned my attention to Gabriella. She was everything I ever dreamt about. With any luck, this could turn into a regular gig. She handed me a long-stemmed glass and filled it with Cabernet Sauvignon. I kissed her passionately, tasting the wine on her tongue. After a while, she pulled away. It had a king size four-poster bed and crisp red satin sheets ready to be wrinkled. I didn't want to give her a moment to change her mind, so I untied the belt on her robe.
Indeed, she wore nothing beneath it. Her voluptuous, naked body begged to be caressed. She kissed me, ran her tongue across my lips, then laid down on the bed, her long, shapely legs making me forget any woman trouble I had in the past. She curled a finger and beckoned me to join her.
I got undressed in a hurry and joined her on the bed. Our lovemaking was slow and deliberate. I spent what seemed like forever lost in her touch, her firm breasts, her velvet-soft skin, her legs wrapped around me, hands cupping my buttocks. A loud noise in the hallway interrupted our passion. I had just put on my pants and loafers when a sixty-something man burst into the room. He was heavyset, paunchy, and wore a designer suit.
His eyes narrowed to slits as he glared at Gabriella. He sucker-punched me on the chin, stunning me. My legs gave out, but I got up quickly.
He was bigger than me, but I was younger and quicker. I ducked and hit him twice in the stomach. He doubled over, gasping for air.
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I thought it was over, but he suddenly charged at me like a battering ram and got me in a headlock. Now, fill in the blank boxes with possible relationships, secrets and areas of conflict. If possible connections are eluding you, try running this exercise for each of your main characters: In his closet is something he does not want anyone to find, ever. What does this reveal about the inner life of the character? Use the secrets and passions you discover to add another point of conflict within the cast. I call the main action of a novel the confrontation.
This is where the hero and antagonist battle over the high stakes a thriller demands.
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They make their bad guy all bad. How much more chilling is the bad guy who has a strong argument for his actions, or who even engenders a bit of sympathy? The crosscurrents of emotion this will create in your readers will deepen your thriller in ways that virtually no other technique can accomplish. The trick is not to overdo it—if you stack the deck against your villain, readers will feel manipulated.
Start by giving your antagonist just as rich a backstory as your hero. What hopes and dreams did he have? How were they dashed? What life-altering hurt did he suffer? How did all of this affect him over the course of his life? Write out a closing argument for him. If he were in court, arguing to a jury about why he did the things he did in the novel, what would he say? Make it as persuasive as possible:. Now you will hear my side of the story.
You will hear about a world that is better off without some people being in it. It can feel a bit disturbing to try to understand someone you might hate in real life. You are a writer. You go where angels fear to tread. A stronger confrontation can only result. Part of the fun for readers is thinking a story is going one way, and getting taken completely by surprise. Harlan Coben is one of the reigning kings of the art of surprise. But there is another way.
The Wrong End of a Gun (A Noir Mystery Short) by R. Barri Flowers
Pause after every scene and ask yourself: Another method is the old Raymond Chandler advice: When things slow down, bring in a man with a gun. It can be anything that bursts into a scene and shakes things up. Get your imagination to give you the surprise without justification. A woman runs in screaming. The lights go out. A car crashes through the wall. A baby cries what baby? Blood drips down the wall. Justin Bieber comes in with a gun. Some things on your list will seem silly. Look back and find the most original item, and only then find a reason for it.
The Best Noir Books Of All-Time -
In this case, No. Johns Hopkins University Press. Film Noir in Its Contexts , 2d ed.
Berkeley, Los Angeles, and London: University of California Press. What is Film Noir? The Dark Side of the Screen: Film Noir , British Film Noir Guide. Death on the Cheap: Ward, Elizabeth; Silver, Alain , eds. An Encyclopedic Reference to the American Style 3rd ed.