Lusty Ladies-a collection of erotic fantasies

What scientists have discovered is that the brain is really hardwired for porn. We are very interested in sexual images, much in the way that we're interested in pictures of food. What lit up in women's and men's brains when they looked at porn? The researchers saw higher activation in the men in both the amygdala and the hypothalamus, two areas involved in sex and emotional processing.

When they examined what the participants were actually looking at using eye tracking software, there was no significant difference between men and women. Nobody really liked the close up, crazy genital shots.

One study found that activation in male and female brains during climax is fairly uniform, aside from some mechanics. Same for passionate love, which triggers the same parts of the brain across the board, for straight and gay men and women alike. For me it proves that love is love no matter who happens to be in love.

I had no idea how much of my brain would be activated: It was lit up like a Christmas tree. Orgasm gives your brain one hell of a workout and it's probably very good for you, up there with diet and exercise, to keep up optimal brain health. Many studies have shown aging people who have better cognitive abilities are all still having sex. You describe the brain as a giant gonad and point out you don't even need genital stimulation: Wet dreams are a case in point, as are people with spinal-cord injuries who can climax.

Which brings us to "thinking off.

Thinking off is the ability to think yourself into an orgasm. Instead of using your hands to touch yourself or having a partner do it, you can arouse yourself enough by fantasy and top down control of the brain to achieve actual physical orgasm. We don't know how prevalent it is but it may be possible that we're all capable of it, but just never figured out how.

She has a very respectable corporate job and told me she did it all the time, during conference calls at work to pass the time.

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She was very kind and allowed me to observe despite a lot of embarrassment I think on both of our parts. It's a good enough orgasm that she does it quite often. What researchers have seen when they've put people who can think off into fMRIs is that the brain looks pretty much the same as when people are "touching off. Let's turn to sex addiction, under consideration for the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders next year as "hypersexuality.

Lique Coolen [a neuroscientist at the University of Michigan]looked at animal models and found damage in the prefrontal cortex resulted in rats compulsively seeking sex. Male rats that have this damage can't help themselves. With one gene variant, DRD4, it seems there is more novelty seeking, but that doesn't mean it has to express itself with hypersexuality.

The person can be an adrenalin sports junkie or get thrills from winning eBay auctions. Some think it's all about self-discipline but it's becoming clear there is more to the story. Kristie, a woman I spoke with, identified as both a love and a sex addict.

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There's an intrigue and she can't get enough of it. Wolfram Schultz, a neuroscientist at the University of Cambridge who studies reward and risk processing, said our brain system's set up so that anything can become addictive. Why does "love addiction" come with some partners and not others?

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Why do some people affect us and make us absolutely nuts so that our family and friends are all saying, "Get yourself woman, you are nuts! It has a lot to do with chemicals. Our bodies give off a lot of information that other people can unconsciously process. Maybe that person is an ideal genetic mate for offspring. That would certainly satisfy evolutionary scientists. On the other end we have successful long-term couples: Those still passionately in love after decades showed activated dopamine-rich reward areas in their brains, scientists have found.

Charles Snowdon's study from the University of Wisconsin, Madison, involving cotton-top tamarins found that strong couples had higher levels of oxytocin, which corresponded with certain behaviours: I hate that it's a total stereotype and yet there's something very interesting in the idea that these couples gave partners what they needed.

Neurobiology cements the idea that an active sex life is important to our relationships. In terms of maintaining a bond you have to have that dopamine release and sex is your fast track. These sci-fi notions of controlling our urges with oxytocin sprays, pheromone potions and "love vaccines" are bunk given how nascent neurobiological studies are in this area, you write.

Part of me says what's the harm, except that chemicals such as oxytocin and vasopressin are also important to blood-vessel dilation and maternal behaviours. We may actually influence how our bodies make these things. I wouldn't want to mess with that.

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Ultimately, science still provides few answers about our lusty behaviours: It's a stew of biology, context and individuality. At first it annoyed me: I wanted some actionable advice. The more I thought about it, the more I appreciated not knowing more. Good science asks as many questions as it answers. This scientific work challenges many notions you find in self-help books, which promote one-size-fits-all answers to relationships and suggest you can't be happy unless you follow those rules.

How does this stuff affect the way you look at your dates? Are they guinea pigs? Right now I am much more likely to listen to what my gut is telling me about a person. In my 20s, I would have looked at someone and said, "But he's got such a great job and he's so good looking.

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Secret for some, silent for others, mild for some and wild for others, every couple harbours sexual fantasies. Here's a list of the most cherished ones Secret for some, silent for others, mild for some and wild for others For a lot of couples their fantasies remain hidden desires that are tucked away in the remote corners of their heart.

Fear of rejection often leads couples to deny their unspoken desires. The idea of a fantasy is that your mind explores places that the body has no intention of visiting and acting out things one might never even think of doing in real life," says psychiatrist, Dr. Deepak Raheja of Hope Foundation says, sums up the importance of sexual fantasies, "Sexual excitement and libido to a great extent depends upon what you think of and how you plan, your sexual communion. Sex usually begins in the brain. So an active imagination gears up the mind, there by heightening the desire to an extent that arousal becomes much quicker adding to the sexual gratification.

That's why discussing and performing one's sexual fantasies are important for a couple to enjoy a highly satisfying sex life. Chugh, "As long as the individuals are healthy and their sexual fantasies do not impair their level of functioning or cause them or those around them any kind of stress, one can safely continue to enjoy one's sexual fantasies. Open ended communication is key during sex. Here's a list of the most highly cherished sexual fantasies often nurtured by partners either together or in seclusion. Fantasy 1 Domination Not to win, but to surrender!

Yes, it's the most common fantasy that people eat, drink, sleep and live with. The mere thought of a partner sweeping them off their feet and winning full sexual control over them provides a heady adrenaline rush. Women just love watching their macho lover begging for sexual release in the bedroom as they crack the whip on their love slave. And hot hunks also get turned on by the thought of being hand-cuffed in bed as their lady love assumes the role of the dominating lover.

The total reversal of roles adds to the sexual excitement and gives me a chance to rule over him in bed. The sex we have is just wild," confesses years-old Divya Pahwa from Delhi. The way we do it: Hand cuffs or silky-satiny scarves come handy to enact this fantasy. Just tie your partner's limbs to the bed and there's your prey He's the slave and you the master Touch, tease and tickle Though my wife was a little apprehensive initially, but soon she got into the flow.

Not only is it fun, enjoying this voyeuristic pleasure helped my wife get over her body consciousness and come alive," admits years-old, advertising executive, Jairaj Kanojia name changed on request. Just place a full length mirror strategically in front of your bed and there you have the perfect pitch ready to hit those sexual sixes and boundaries! So keep playing till one of you gets clean bowled! Fantasy 3 Recording the action Recording your sexual pleasure is a secret fantasy of the rich and famous. Be it on your cell phone or a handy cam, a lot of couples love recording their sex encounters so that they can watch their moves later and get turned on.