In Quiet Desperation: Understanding the Challenge of Same-Gender Attraction

For members of the LDS faith who struggle with same-gender attraction this book is perhaps the single best expression of understanding, faith, love, and hope ever published. Ty Mansfield in particular articulates his struggle with succinct power and articulate passion. Mansfield focuses not so much on the cause, for which there is so much debate and complexities, but makes the inspired choice of focusing on how to live with and understand same gender attraction within the framework of the restored gospel.

Mansfield makes a compelling case of how to live with and come to terms with same-gender attraction while increasing in faith and devotion to living the gospel. Mansfield words are a beacon of hope and compassion to those who may have felt alone and out of place in the church due to their struggle with same-gender attractions.

I hope that anyone who struggles with this difficulty or knows someone who is will take the time to carefully and prayerfully read this book. As a lifetime member of the church, I have struggled with same-gender feelings. Though I am a returned missionary who was married to a beautiful daughter of God in the temple and have a beautiful daughter, I continue to struggle with same-gender attractions.

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Mansfield has helped me see that with increased love and faith in my Heavenly Father and the empowering nature of the atonement I can live a happy and productive life within my marriage while choosing to keep my covenants. Mansfield has reminded me of the miracles the Lord has given in me life despite my struggle. I have to come to feel the unique love and compassion the Lord showers upon those who seek him.

The truth is that there are so many wonderful members of the church who need to feel the love and strength of our family of saints to know that they are needed, loved, and welcome in the church.

With great tenderness and passion I recommend this book and hope many more will find greater faith in Christ as they do so. May God grant that the Latter-Day Saints will be a light to the world on reaching out and being a Savior on mount Zion to those who struggle with the difficult and perplexing problems of same-gender attraction.

This is a book that offers real peoples' experiences and struggles as they sought the strength of the Lord to carry them from day to day. It's free of the rhetoric and personal agendas that fill almost all of the writings on the subject. This is a book of hope. A Reason for Faith: Pornography, The Great Lie Reid , Daniel D.

Gray , Mark E. They are not compatible with Kindle or other e-reader devices. Digital items cannot be gifted. Add To Cart Cancel. Enjoy eBooks and audiobooks on your smartphone or tablet with our free app , Deseret Bookshelf. Domestic and International Shipping Options. Product Details Pages You Might Also Like. Son of Man or Son of God? Paul, the Romans, and Homosexuality 8. The Message of Paul to Everyone 9.

According to the Lord's Own Will and Pleasure To Mourn and to Comfort A Place in the Kingdom. Notes Includes bibliographical references p. View online Borrow Buy Freely available Show 0 more links Related resource Table of contents at http: None of your libraries hold this item.

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Found at these bookshops Searching - please wait This book definitely served it's purpose. Fred and Marilyn Matis did an excellent job explaining how they, as parents of a child who struggled with same-gender attraction, coped with all of the personal "baggage. The second half of the book is written by Ty and WOW! I am amazed at the inner peace this young 26 year old has. He goes through numerous details of how he awful and depressed he felt, even as a young man, when he realized he wasn't like his peers. Ty shares a number of very personal experience that nearly break your heart to think anyone would feel that awful about himself.

I felt so bad for this young man that I wept with him. I couldn't imagine how he must have felt. I am so grateful I read this book. I now have a better understanding of people who struggle with same-gender attraction. I realize people have their own opinions, but after reading this book I feel I can be more understanding to people who struggle with same-gender attraction.

I will never support gay marriage. I still believe marriage should be between man and woman. I do, however, have a better understanding of how "gay" people must feel. In addition to understanding for same-gender attraction I have also increased my understanding of personal worth. I was deeply touched by the authors' beliefs that we are all children of God and he loves us. I have believed this since I was a little child, but this book has strengthened that knowledge in a way I can't explain. I would highly recommend this book to anyone. It is very insightful.

May 05, RoseMary rated it it was amazing. I read this book when I found out someone close to me was a lesbian. I wanted to understand her better and love her without judging her. This book is a favorite book on the atonement. It's content applies to everyone, not just those who struggle with same-gender attraction. We all have trials and struggles in this life and this book teaches incredible principles to help us get through them using the atonement of our Savior.

When I suggested to others they should read this book for understanding, I read this book when I found out someone close to me was a lesbian. When I suggested to others they should read this book for understanding, empathy and love. I couldn't believe how closed off they were. They were mean and unfeeling to understanding and loving people with the struggle of same self attraction. If you love someone or are someone struggling read this book. Jul 10, Lisa rated it it was amazing. This book was so insightful for me.

It wasn't just limited to expanding my understanding of same-gender attraction particularly within the LDS Church but was helpful for me to gain a better understanding of the Atonement and it's application for various challenges that we face. Jan 31, Jen rated it it was amazing. This is one of my favorite books on the atonement.

Sep 02, Abby added it. My gay friend came and visited me a couple weeks ago from out of state. I met him at BYU, wrote to him on his mission, did a roadtrip to see the Nauvoo temple open house with him, and had him at my temple wedding. He was finishing up his graduate degree at BYU when he decided he couldn't do it anymore and came out.

He seems pretty happy now, and he is excited about his new boyfriend. So I picked up this book after his visit, wanting to find some new books on the topic. I've read a co My gay friend came and visited me a couple weeks ago from out of state.

I've read a couple in the past that really intrigued me. About a week after that visit I came across a former co-worker on the internet, one that I used to attend an institute class with. There was a group of us who left on our lunch breaks once a week and went to this particular class, and he had just been attending a few weeks when he told me how much he loved it. He was so passionate about it that it kind of surprised me a little bit, and the week our teacher was going to be out of town he asked if we could get a group together to go to lunch and just discuss the gospel together.

This same week he was fired for falsifying sales in our office. He wasn't lying to steal money, he was boarding fake sales so that everyone would think he was a better salesperson than he really was. I know he rubbed some people the wrong way while he worked there, but I'd never had a problem with him personally. After he was fired I felt bad because I knew he wouldn't be able to come to institute anymore and face everyone who knew what he'd been let go for doing.

In Quiet Desperation: Understanding the Challenge of Same-Gender Attraction - Deseret Book

I caught up on his life online, and saw that he had been treated badly by his family and the church even if some of it was just his perception when they'd found out he was gay. He'd come out earlier in life, then decided to be straight and get married, and then came out again if I understood correctly. I also remember when he was fired, thinking, "What has happened in his life that he would risk his job just so that he could get some acknowledgement and admiration from other people? I don't think he's a dishonest guy, I think he was genuinely hurt and experienced a lot of pain in his life to be so desparate for approval from others.

I turned on the TV a couple nights later right in the middle of an interview with the gay leader of the democrat party in Utah, discussing LGBT rights.

I looked him up online, and his campaign manager was none other than that same former co worker who once loved institute so much. The universe keeps bringing this topic back to me, I swear. I am still very unclear on my feelings about homosexuality. Maybe it is wrong to act out on these feelings at all, and the people who struggle with it are supposed to live celibate their whole lives - just like other people who are straight but never find someone to marry in this life.

That second group isn't supposed to sleep with someone they're attracted to unless they're married to them, same deal. But at least they get to date and TRY to find a partner. I don't know that I would live a celibate life. Actually, I'm pretty sure I would do the same thing that my gay friend from BYU did, and get out of here.

That probably speaks more to my personal weaknesses that anything else, but it also makes me much more compassionate and non-judgemental towards anyone who is gay. And I do believe people are sometimes born this way, but also that there are varying degrees of same gender attraction - and some people can marry and have a family, even if they have this temptation.

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It's what these people go through and what should be expected of them, and whether we should be so pointedly anti-gay marriage that is a gray area for me. This book has two sections - the first by a very active LDS family whose gay son committed suicide. The second is by a gay man in his twenties who is trying to live as an active LDS man, but is attracted to other men.

The first part went quickly, but the second part dragged a bit. I guess I wanted to hear his life story - what it was like to have these feelings as a child, when he realized he was gay, what he did when he had a brief period of acting out in the lifestyle, why he came back to church, etc However, it wasn't that.

It was a lot of philosophizing, sharing scripture stories and quotes by LDS leaders, personal revelation, talk about commandments - that sort of stuff. It was all good, don't get me wrong. It was good in the same way General Conference is good. It's great information, but it's hard to get super stoked about picking up the Ensign and reading another excitement filled talk by an old dude no matter how wise and right the old dude may be.

I did finish it, and I was glad I did. It just took awhile. The last bit of the book was the most meaningful to me, so I was glad I'd stuck it out. I don't know what else to say, other than I have changed from being weirded out by gay people as a teenager to not even remotely bothered by it anymore. I am bothered by actions taken by gay people at times, but not by someone who has those feelings of attraction. I also told my husband that I will never, ever be mad if he finds another woman attractive or if I catch him watching a pretty woman walk by.

I will be grateful for the fact that my husband is straight and likes women. Really, it makes life less complicated in one aspect, and so I have learned to count my blessings. Yes, my husband spends years in Iraq, but at least we have this straight thing going for us. To anyone who is gay - you're still awesome.

In Quiet Desperation: Understanding the Challenge of Same-Gender Attraction

That's my final opinion on the matter. Good luck to you. The male model on the front cover is totally hot, even though you can't see his eyes. That would annoy me if I was a gay guy trying to kick the habit, and every time I picked up the book I just saw a very attractive man. For me however, it made me like the book more fun - except when I thought that the guy on the cover could be gay.

Then I was sad for all of womankind. Jan 21, Drew Graham rated it did not like it Shelves: The issue of homosexuality in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is growing in openness. Unfortunately, some leaders of the Church and especially some LDS authors simply are not educated enough to address the real issue.

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This book is like a gay sensitivity seminar, and if anything, is encouraging homosexuality. Our feelings can change every day, it all depends on what we decide to give into or dwell on. This book pretends to be about unconditional love, but what it's really about is The issue of homosexuality in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is growing in openness. This book pretends to be about unconditional love, but what it's really about is arguing for a weakness, which any of us could do about any weakness. This isn't true charity at all, because you're not caring about the person's spiritual well-being if you're sympathizing with their weakness.

What makes homosexuality so different from any other weakness? It's just an addiction. It's not who a person is, it's not "part of" who a person is. A person's sexual orientation has nothing to do with who a person is. It's based entirely on self-identification and behavior. People CAN change, if they want to, which this book refuses to consider. Change is what Christianity is all about, and this book, by denying that people can change, is denying Christ.

It is of extreme importance to learn to separate a person's worth from his behavior, thoughts or feelings.

I'm sure the authors were well-intentioned, but I'm afraid and this may as well go for the church in general , that they were just not educated enough about the subject to really say anything of truth or value. They were really close to a sad experience, leading to a sentimental, emotion-based response, and they didn't use the infinite Atonement.

It's also really shameful that they would exploit their mentally unstable son and his suicide in an attempt to raise him up as some kind of martyr or shining example of righteousness. Shame on Deseret Book for publishing such biased, weak, Godless and non-Christ-centered propaganda. For some non-sentimental, non-self-seving truth on the subject, see transcripts on Homosexuality: Jeff Robinson and Homosexuality: Sep 07, Dare Johnson rated it it was ok.

I really wanted to like this book—but unless one is a fervent Latter Day Saint, one will likely find somewhat tiresome Ty's frequent deferences to the established authority of the Mormon Scriptures and church presidents and leaders.