How to Raise A Happy, Smart Child

Our challenge is to stand back and let our children do for themselves what they're capable of. While it can be difficult to watch our kids struggle, they'll never know the thrill of mastery unless we allow them to risk failure. Few skills are perfected on a first try. It's through practice that children achieve mastery. And through repeated experiences of mastery, they develop the can-do attitude that lets them approach future challenges with the zest and optimism that are central to a happy life.

And research shows that what human beings fear more than anything is exclusion. In other words, people have an innate need to be needed. So the more you can convey to your child that he is making a unique contribution to the family , from an early age, the greater his sense of self-worth and his ultimate happiness. Kids as young as 3 can play meaningful family roles, Murray says, whether it's refilling the cat's dry-food bowl or setting out the napkins at dinnertime.

If possible, assign a role that plays to your child's strengths. For example, if your little one loves to organize things, give him the job of sorting the forks and spoons. If he's particularly nurturing, perhaps his role could be entertaining his baby sister while you get dinner on the table.

So long as you acknowledge that he's making a contribution to the family, it will heighten your child's sense of connection and confidence, two prerequisites for lasting happiness. Finally, happiness studies consistently link feelings of gratitude to emotional well-being.

Research at the University of California, Davis, and elsewhere has shown that people who keep daily or weekly gratitude journals feel more optimistic, make more progress toward goals, and feel better about their lives overall. For a child, keeping a journal may be unrealistic. But one way to foster gratitude in children is to ask that each member of the family take time daily—before or during a meal, for example—to name aloud something he or she is thankful for, Carter suggests.

The important thing is to make it a regular ritual. Parents may receive compensation when you click through and purchase from links contained on this website. Give your child the skills to rebound from setbacks and pave the way to success. What Makes a Child Happy? How to Tailor Your Parenting Techniques. Foster Connections The surest way to promote your child's lifelong emotional well-being is to help him feel connected—to you, other family members, friends, neighbors, daycare providers, even to pets.

Most kids already practice mindfulness — fully enjoying the present moment — when they play. Researchers believe that this dramatic drop in unstructured playtime is in part responsible for slowing kids cognitive and emotional development… In addition to helping kids learn to self-regulate, child-led, unstructured play with or without adults promoted intellectual, physical, social, and emotional well-being.

Unstructured play helps children learn how to work in groups, to share, negotiate, resolve conflicts, regulate their emotions and behavior, and speak up for themselves. No strict instructions are necessary here: Budget more time for your kids to just get outside and simply play. More on the power of playing for kids and adults here. Your efforts will be constrained by time and effort, while context affects us and children constantly.

Sociologists show that happier people tend to watch considerably less television than unhappy people. But we do know that there are a lot of activities that will help our kids develop into happy, well-adjusted individuals. More non-television happiness activities are here.

Sometimes all science does is validate those things our grandparents knew all along. Yes, family dinner matters. Studies show that kids who eat dinner with their families on a regular basis are more emotionally stable and less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol. They got better grades. And they are less likely to become obese or have an eating disorder. Family dinners even trump reading to your kids in terms of preparing them for school. And these associations hold even after researchers control for family connectedness…. More on the power of family dinners here. The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes.

How much of what your parents told you was wrong? Happier kids are more likely to turn into successful, accomplished adults. Get Happy Yourself The first step to happier kids is, ironically, a little bit selfish. And this is not merely due to genetics. Teach Them To Build Relationships Nobody denies learning about relationships is important — but how many parents actually spend the time to teach kids how to relate to others? Relentlessly banging the achievement drum messes kids up.

The research is very consistent: Praise effort, not natural ability. Teach Optimism Want to avoid dealing with a surly teenager? Are more successful at school, work and athletics Are healthier and live longer End up more satisfied with their marriages Are less likely to deal with depression and anxiety More on how to encourage optimism here. Teach Emotional Intelligence Emotional intelligence is a skill, not an inborn trait. Sing along with them! Sing nursery rhymes, silly songs, holiday songs, and other tunes, especially with young children. For extra fun, try dancing with your child!

Give your child plenty of unstructured play time.

How To Raise Happy Kids - 10 Steps Backed By Science - Barking Up The Wrong Tree

Children need at least an hour a day to play on their own, but ideally, they will have more. Unstructured play time allows the child to engage in their own imagination. Avoid overloading your child with activities, and let them have some to just play. Encourage your children to dress up and play pretend.

Step 1: Get Happy Yourself

Don't be afraid to play with your children. Let them create the scenario, and act along with it. Take your child outside. Seeing the world outdoors encourages your child to learn about their natural world, increases their curiosity, and can make basic scientific concepts more clear. Taking a walk and talking about plants and animals that you see. Letting your child build a treehouse or other project outside.

Pointing out unusual or interesting sights when you are outside. Creating a garden with your child. Globalize your child's perspective. Helping your child learn about the world around them is very important.

How To Raise Happy Kids – 10 Steps Backed By Science

Learning about other cultures and sites around the world will heighten their sense of diversity. This not only increases their knowledge, but also deepens their understanding of other people. If you can travel with your child, this can be a great way for them to learn. Talk about world news and events. Encourage your child to read about different cultures, and tell them about ones that interest you. Take your child to any multicultural events or institutions in your area. Visit a museum to inspire your child's interest in different cultures. Learn a foreign language. Your child could take a class, learn from apps and other materials, or spend time around people who speak another language.

Only try it if your child seems to enjoy it. Learning together with your child can make things even more fun! When things do get difficult, they may then get discouraged and fall behind. Encourage a growth mindset instead of praising intelligence. Believing that abilities can be gained through effort is called a growth mindset. Fostering this in your child can encourage them to be more well-rounded and intelligent overall. These techniques will teach your child to persevere and to react well to setbacks. That way, they can maximize the full potential of their intelligence.

When your child is struggling or has failed at something, talk to them about it. Ask them what they would do differently, and encourage them to keep trying. If your child is struggling with a subject at school, help them learn it in a different way.

For example, if your child isn't good with math, ask them to help you measure food when you cook or to add up items around the house. Feed their stomachs to help grow their minds. The old saying is that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and there is some truth to that. A nutritious breakfast could include things like oatmeal and fruit, whole-grain toast with peanut butter, yogurt and granola, or an omelette with fillings like spinach and cheese.

Respect different learning styles. Experts now recognize that there are numerous types of intelligence, and different styles that are associated with them. Help them find activities and learning strategies that they enjoy and that help them reach their potential. The loving connection formed between you and your child and your one-on-one interaction with him provide the foundation for their higher thinking skills.

A loving, nurturing, safe, and happy home is one of the greatest gifts you can give a child.